Help I don’t know what to do.
My partner has 2 children ages 17 and 12 and we also have a 5 week old, my partner wants to make sure his children don’t see any changes since having bubs but his 12 year old daughter is very loud and keeps waking up bubs and she also wants me to play with her and I want to be able to play with her without interruption so trying to get bubs to sleep is fun but I also want bubs to be able to sleep through noise
Step children and newborns
Tuesday, 2 July 2019 - 09:59
Step children and newborns
Posted in:
Kids
10 Replies
Well there's going to be changes. Quiet sometimes is necessary. Your time will be taken with bub for a while. Good changes also, where you include her in bath and walks and give special time to her when bubs is happy.
There is going to be changes in the home, step kids need to live with it and get over it. They will need to be quiet and respectful of the baby needing sleep. They will also have to remember that babies aren’t dolls to be played with by children. Looking, talking ect are fine but a child doesn’t need to be constantly holding/walking around with a baby
There’s going to be changes 100%. Can you look into babywearing and then you can still head out for activities if you’re up to it and keep up with her? :)
Get her to try and put baby to sleep! I bet she will be quiet then 😂. Seriously though kids that age usually love that kind of thing. Asking her to be quiet while bub is asleep is not going to uproot her world, Dads being a bit sensitive I think.
My newborn slept through an 11, 9 and 5 year old running through the place non stop at full volume a lot and was also woken up by super loud noises but got used to it. Get bubs used to noise and if a 12 year old can’t play independently at some point during the day I’d be concerned about them and get them into a paediatrician to get them checked out. It’s not normal for them to want you to play with them every minute of their awake time. Even my 6 year old can play independently in their room for an hour. Play games like uno and snap. Baby wear and do some cooking. Send her outside to jump on the trampoline or swing on the swings. Let her invite a friend over and give them some make up to play with and experiment with. Let them be loud they are kids. Quiet time from say 6pm at night is reasonable but you can’t expect her to be quiet all day long. Just becasue the baby is asleep. She sounds like she’s bored with nothing to do or to play with and that would be a problem. Table tennis table, pool table, computer games etc bubs is only 5 weeks old you’re still getting used to it I get that. But also sounds like you need support from dad too. Like he needs to step up and accept theirs going to be some changes with a new born in the house.
I read it a little wrong but of course she’s going to want to play with her little sibling jeepers it would be worse if she wanted nothing to do with it at all and was hating on it. You need to teach her about appropriate times. Ie just before a feed let her have a cuddle, help with the bathing, change a nappy. Explain that babies sleep a lot when they are little and need lots of rest to grow etc tell her that if she doesn’t let her sleep then it’ll be bad for everyone. As baby gets older they’ll be awake more and more fun to play with as long as they get all the sleep they can now. Explain it in 12 year old terms. How if she doesn’t get enough sleep she’s grumpy etc or go and wake her up at 2 am and say oh I just wanted to play with you don’t you like being woken up in the middle of your sleep?? 😅
If the noise is there during pregnancy and constantly from birth then they get used to it and sleep through everything, my younger 2 are proof of this they sleep through smoke alarms😂. But if they don't have the children all the time the baby is probably going to wake up to louder noises as it's not the babies 'normal'. It's like how people who live near train lines or airports can sleep fine but people who aren't used to it can't sleep through it.
Oh my pregnancies were definitely filled with noises and movement all the time 😅 I also found baby wearing while doing noisy things helped get them used to noises to. So they could sleep through the noises.
As everyone else has mentioned, new babies means change.
She's old enough to understand that there's times where she'll need to be quiet and she's old enough to understand that she'll need to play or entertain herself sometimes. Unless she has any special needs, in which case she may need some more time and extra support to adapt to the new baby.
Sounds like she'd benefit from some special one on one time with you doing her favourite things so it's important to make time for that too.
Good luck, I'm sure you'll all find a good balance soon.
Change is going to happen when adding a new child. It is what it is and can’t be avoided...
It is harder/takes longer for kids who don’t live at the house full time to adjust but it’s a part of life.
Mr 8 lives with us full time and is still adjusting, bub is 11 months. Miss 10 comes to visit once or twice a year for the holidays (not our decision) and it’s even harder for her to adjust.