Financial headaches!
Hi fellow imperfect mums! I am at a loss and was hoping the sisterhood might be able to give some advice, either from experience or far more subjective than my position. Caution: long post ahead.
I have a good job. Regular income, job security, good conditions. Hubby has operated his own transport-type business for around 2 years now. Its not huge and started out quite ad-hoc in fact. It is busier but is horribly irregular, has a lot of costs associated with running it, and he does a rubbish job of the bookwork/records sides of things.
I have tried to remain supportive of his hustle, particularly as he has been diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression, and his ego gets battered by not earning money. I am in a situation though where because his business doesn't generate enough income I am the sole source of all family expenses, from rent right down to groceries and Netflix.
As his income is a punish to estimate I am now facing a family tax benefit bill for a second year in a row due to incorrect estimate of his income. Of course, the bill comes to me as I am the claimant.
I am at a total loss. I am finding it hard to remain supportive of his business when not only can we not get ahead or save for something great like a home or even a holiday, but I am having debt attributed to my name due to the nature of the business.
I have tried to discuss him getting a more regular job even just part time, but he either ignores what I'm saying or the low self worth kicks in and he says he can't find a job he feels he could do. I am at my wits end, any constructive advice is much appreciated noting I do love him, we have a 3 year old son and I'm not looking at divorce. Thank you in advance!
6 Replies
My husband and I were like this . Me being the higher earner and
paying for everything and he ran his own courier type business . In the end his business went bust to a whopping $60,000 within 8 months . It barely got off the ground . The business was under a business name , not his personal name , so no one legally can be billed for the debt . However , he never did get another job . In the end I had to leave as he remained unemployed for a decade and a half as my resentment grew . I felt he wasn’t trying harder to find employment, he was quiet comfortable living off me . He had other debt too , some I got stuck with , other debt was his alone to pay . I paid thousands for things that were not my doing. I know you said you won’t divorce , and I never did either , but something had to give And I walked away . He’s still unemployed living with his mum . I still work and can now save money without being burdened by a moocher . He also suffers depression but what to do when it’s the same shit every year on end? With Me earning more and picking up the pieces of his costs , expenses , and losses. Like you , I paid for everything from rent to food to car to utilities to clothing , shoes , kids , furniture repairs or replacement, medical , you name it .
How did you get an FTB bill though ? Especially if his business isn’t even earning money .
Anyway , if he’s trying all he can , keep supporting him to find new work or a course of study to get a better job even ? Don’t let it continue for almost two decades like I did , because once you hit rock bottom yourself , it may be hard to save your marriage . It’s very important to work on it now . Also see if any recruitment agencies can help . Good luck xx
So first things first you and he need to cut back expenses if his business is struggling I would be getting rid of luxuries like Netflix- if he asks why tell him the truth. If his mental health is so connected to his business and employment prospects he needs to see a GP and get serious about getting healthy mentally so he can make smart business decisions that are not based on emotion.
He needs to employ someone to do his books or get serious about doing them - you don't need more debt from fines etc as a result of him being lazy with bookwork.
You both need to get on the same page financially otherwise your next post will be 'how do I leave my mooching husband?'
As for centrelink- your husbands name should be connected to the debt as well hence the ATO and centrelink are able to work out pretty quickly what he has earned and therefore what you are entitled to. Also going forward if you cant estimate is yearly income maybe you should look at claiming at the end of the year based on actual income rather than an estimate?? I do that and each year I think I should get something and each year I get rejected but I would rather that than having to pay back money.
Exactly what I was going to suggest, get your FTB at the end of the financial year. The business is obviously earning some money, otherwise you wouldn't have a debt. Maybe get someone in once a month to help with the financial stuff.
Run your new business through an accountant. Yes, it’s an expense, but it could save your finances!
Then update expenses and earnings monthly through the accountant. Keep it all above board and all through the accountant.
The accountant will explain things to hubby in a way that you can’t, so you can be there to support him regardless of the outcome.
Leave FTB B until end of the year. And I highly suggest (it you haven’t already) using a business account and seperate ALL business expenses from the household expenses. Makes it easier to keep track of ingoing and outgoing expenses. And get a system happening. Your accountant will help with that.
Once you have a business account you can start drawing a wage, pay yourself a minimum. (So you have a regular wage) and leave “extras” in the business account to pay for extra expenses or to fulfill a shortfall in wages the next fortnight (or month) at the end of the year you’ll receive a “bonus” if the business has made a profit. If it’s made a loss, then the business will either bust, or you’ll be in a smallish business debt.
Example -
Month 1 - business makes $3200. Hubby minus wage of $2000. $1200 stays in account to continue to run business with expenses etc.
Months 2 - business has made $1600. Account stands at $2800. Hubby minus wage of $2000. Business account has $800 to maintain itself.
Months 3 - business has made $4400. Minus Hubby wage of $2000. Business account has $2400 for pay expenses and continue running costs
Ultimately if hubby is working for $500 a week (as an example) then maybe he will either up his game, or find something else :)
Claim FTB at tax time. Then any you get is a forced saving/surprise.
Long response sorry :). I am in a similar situation but without children at home. Partner has a home based business - he’s never really liked working for others as long as we’ve been together (13 years) and even had a good mining job in that time which he refused to do anything but casually three days per week, then gave it up to do a market-type business. Mind you, he sourced that himself and he can work hard. It has huge potential to make lots more money, I help when I can and get frustrated he’s not making the most of it, but he tends to lose interest and is now moving into another business which has huge startup costs...... sigh ...... and yes I have a good, secure job which pays reasonably well. Without my job he would not be able to do what he does. I have always asked him to contribute to our costs - and he’s always been reluctant but I nag him :). This motivates him to earn more so he can give me money - there have been many arguments. We have a mortgage but never seemed to get ahead.
Then I discovered the Barefoot Invester, applied those principles and told him he MUST give me $... fixed amount each fortnight and I remind him when he “forgets” and make him do it. I have had to be firm. This works and we’re doing way better than we have ever. He even tells others about it (to my shock!). I don’t want my financial future compromised because I’m with someone who doesn’t want to work much and is happy for me to support him AND do the housework AND make more sacrifice. It make me sad at times, not that I’m materialistic but I’d like a house that’s not falling down around me, good super, and the occasional holiday. Good luck, be firm xx