My 5.5 year old has started prep this year. He gets upset at school drop off times and doesn’t want me to leave or let go of my hand. Luckily he has a fantastic teacher aide that helps settle him so I can leave but we still go through the same scenario each morning and I’m beginning to dread it each day.
He says that he misses me, is scared, doesn’t like school or doesn’t like the noise that the other kids make when I’ve asked why he is feeling upset and if anything is wrong or has happened.
He is normally always in great spirits at the end of the day and said he’s had a good day when I pick him up.
He used to do the same thing at Kindy the previous year but eventually settled and would wave goodbye to me and let me leave easily.
Has anyone been through this before and has any suggestions on what I can do or say to help him and the situation?
Thank you :)
2 Replies
I have been through this with my daughter from K-3. She found a teacher who was nurturing and the tears and anxiety began to lessen. As well as seeing the school counsellor to talk about her fears at school and strategies to help deal with them.
Welcome to my world. This is my life every morning since the beginning of the year. My son is on the spectrum and does all the things you describe. We’ve had tears, tantrums, absconding, arguments, hitting, kicking, screaming.....
Ok so here is how I have learnt to cope.
We stay in the car, listening to a book or reading or playing LEGO until 10 mins before bell.
We walk to school, greet the crossing lady and I encourage him to greet his friends.
I allow a toy or two, small and or something to do (drawing etc)
We put our bag in line and then we sit under the tree. I never say he has to do it but I have made it very set routine.
At Bell time I walk over to the lines with him and try to find a friend (encourage him to show them his toy etc). If it’s a difficult day I stand at the lines and wait until the teacher arrives. I back away fast with a quick “have a great day I will be here when you finish”.
Most importantly I steel myself for this time. I don’t engage in negotiations or pander. I know he is anxious but I also know I’m not doing him any favours if I crumble.
There has been times I have walked out crying. One day a new class mate was so kind and said “come sit with me”, as I thanked his mum I fell apart but as I looked up I saw a dozen other mums with tears in their eyes because they could see how hard it has been for me - so don’t feel alone.
Fuck those judgey parents. Keep pressing on mumma. You got this xo