Hi sisterhood. Please no judgement as I’m my own worst critic.
I am at breaking point. Teen son is an ungrateful ass. The hardest part is that he acknowledges his behavior and openly admits he doesn’t care what consequences we dish out.
Don’t get me wrong, he can be generous and caring but towards his friends or to us to get what he wants. Once he’s got it, it’s a big “F” you. He’s ungrateful in the way that if we by him clothes he won’t wear them. He broke his iPhone he purchased so we brought an android phone- never used it. Still in its box.
This behavior has been ongoing for many years. My husband and I have spoken with psychologist for support on how to best guide him but nothing works.
Also, when confronted with questions, whether it’s about school or finding work experience etc, we get I don’t know, don’t care, whatever and no reasoning. He then breaks down in tears about it and shuts down for weeks. Until he wants from us. Vicious cycle.
We are always tip toeing around him.
Today we are asking for help from the dr.
For all of us.
At this point in life I am happy for him to leave, cos I’m not coping and nor is husband. My daughter doesn’t say much but knows life isn’t great at home and surely has to be having an affect of her too.
We have no family to help.
I guess I’m just having a vent but also would love to hear from anyone going through the same thing.
Feeling very broken.
4 Replies
He sounded like a typical bratty teenager until you said he bursts into tears and shuts down for weeks. That's a bit worrying and he needs a mental health check. I look at troubled kids like they have a few layers, they have the outer layer that everyone sees and they use that to deflect away from the inner layer, which comes out every now and then to those around them but they live with it every day. They just hide it.
In part, he is just a bratty teenager who will get thru this stage within the next few years. Clothes - boys are pretty picky about what they wear - don't buy him anything that you choose - get him to come with you or give him voucher etc for bday. Its all very complicated lol. Phone - leave it in the box. don't upgrade. My money is that he'd like the newest, most expensive phone. I have an almost 15yo and they are SHIT. Full of attitude and false bravado.
What you do need to do is see if you and him can go to Headspace or another similar organisation so that his mental health is being addressed. This is where things can get tricky - make sure that no matter how much he annoys you, you are still there for him no matter what.
I have a 12 year old son, he isn’t bratty though extremely appreciative of things we get him. However my son has anxiety and is currently seeing a psychologist at headspace (a mental heath clinic for teens and young adults)
What you have described with the crying is exactly what my son does, I ask him a question and it’s like he has an influx of emotions and cries for no reason. He eventually got sick of the crying so I gently approached him and asked him would you like help to stop the crying? I explained what a counselor (or psychologist) does and how they can help in the long run. I told him not to give me an answer straight away but to think it over and come back to me in a few days on his decision to see one. He eventually said yes and he is going great, he hasn’t cried since he started there and he enjoys going. Perhaps approach your son with that?
Another red flag is you’re enabling him and rewarding his bad behaviour, that’s a big no no, he needs your support and it sounds like it’s a much larger issue than ‘bratty teenage behaviour’. Don’t give up on him, that’s not the right path
Son has appointments with Headspace for review next week.
Then 6-8 weeks for psychology and psychiatrist appointments.
GP spoke with him after we saw her and said he presented with nothing we described.
God give me strength. Things still aren’t great. Husband already sought help. 👍🏼 Just gotta sort myself out now.
Thanks mummas