This has been on my mind for as long as I can remember but moreso recently so much more.
I hate everything about who I am, looks, personality, you name it. For as long as I can remember, I’ve never been happy with the way I look. I’ve always felt “fat”, looking back on high school photos I feel like an idiot because I was so much smaller then than I am now. Of course I’m not happy with my post baby body (nearly 3 years on) but I’ve started to make small changes to my health habits etc and I know what I need to do for the physical aspect of it all but what I really don’t know how to change is the mental.
I’ve been awkward in social settings since high school really and nearly 10 years out nothing has changed, I’ve probably gotten worse. I am just so bad at conversing, I can never think of anything to say and even before any social event I over think every little thing that could happen. Events over the last couple of days have really sent me off edge, (crying pretty much all day on mother’s day 😞) because of how much I hate myself. I’ve been thinking a lot over the last few weeks that if it wasn’t for my daughter I really don’t know that I would still be here. I guess my question is, is it possible to change your personality in a way without affecting who you are if that even makes sense. How do I stop being an awkward stressing hard to socialize with person? How do I make myself enjoyable to talk to and not avoided or not included in all the conversations at work etc???
Self hate
Self hate
Posted in:
Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression
2 Replies
What you are describing can be changed. It takes practice and a good psychologist. You will always do it a little bit but it doesn’t have to be so bad and it doesn’t have to make you miserable.
I found a good psychologist and she really helped me change my thought patterns and challenge my beliefs about myself. I’m much more confident in my own skin now and I find it’s much easier to eat healthy in a sustained way when I don’t loathe myself!
This was me a few years ago so I understand what you are going through. I actually had anxiety and it peaked in social situations. I've been on medication for it for a while now, and I have seen a psychologist for it. It takes practice to converse with others and you may be surprised who else around you is struggling with the same thing. It woukd be a good step to start with you GP and getting a referral to a psycholigist. Good luck!