Hi Mums,
I’m asking on behalf of a friend I’ve known for awhile.
She separated from her abusive defacto partner of 17 years.
She was in an abusive relationship and left as she believed it was having a negative impact on her children.
She is raising two young children (aged 9 and 5) on her own.
She get no financial support from her ex.
He is a qualified electrician and has not earned anything over the last 3 years.
She works part time in a restaurant.
She even cleans peoples homes when she can to make ends meet.
She is struggling to keep it all together - financially and emotionally.
Her daughter is angry towards her as she blames her for the breakdown in the family relationship.
The ex undermines her in front of the children.
The ex tells his children he can’t afford things like a pair of jeans and this is creating anxiety in both the children.
The ex owns a house worth 800k and gets paid for jobs under the table.
The kids think since the mum is earning a wage (to put a roof over their heads and food on the table) she is rich and needs to provide for him. The ex still visits the kids and is a toxic influence.
I’m wondering hat support is available for single mums doing it tough?
Are there affordable psychological services available to provide counselling for the children and the friend?
Are there organisations that provide financial, food assistance or Legal assistance?
Any advice or input would be appreciated? Thank you.
10 Replies
How long have they been separated? I’m assuming he owns his own business? She needs to apply for change if assessment special circumstances for his capacity to earn.
Seek support at a local women’s health clinic.
Women's centres can help with this. They offer free counselling and also group activities where she can just relax and be supported and probably speak to people who know the ins and outs of how to deal with ex and where the local help is.
Original poster -
He does not run his business or earn an income. They have been separated for more than a year.
You can still do COA under capacity to earn. If he is qualified, able and deliberately avoiding work to avoid paying then it can be considered.
And friend needs to become much more familiar with how child support can be calculated when someone has excessive assets but zero income
My best friends ex does the same. Zero income but somehow manages to pay a mortgage on a beautiful house and have a new car every other year and holiday overseas frequently. Pays $13 a month child support....
She should report him to the ATO they will go through the lot. CSA is useless with it and expects you to do all the investigating yourself.
If she goes to the dr and asks for a care plan to see a psychologist she can get 10
Visits. Tell her to do this for both kids. She needs to sit down and explain it to her kids. She also needs to put him in to ato. Surely they will know he is getting an income if he has a house worth that much to pay. He would need an income.
Tell her to make him sell the house so then she can use the money on her and her kids. She would be entitled to some.
Legal advice to force him to sell the house. Why should he get a cushy life when she is struggling? Thanks for being a good friend to her and providing support!