I was just wondering what the thoughts are on this and maybe what I could do to improve.
My husband and I have been having problems for maybe the last 3 years he is highly critical and humiliates me often a few incidents are when I speak he walks away, speaks harshly to me and says really mean things but claims it’s my fault because I made him angry, yells at me in public example screamed at me on a plane that everyone hates me even my son hates me. There was no lead up to that outburst that I can think of we weren’t fighting.
Whenever I try to bring up my feelings he says I’m abusing him and if I don’t like it leave. That hurts me even more because all these issues keep building up and it’s always my fault if I loved him I would just move on etc...
I haven’t spoken to him for weeks now other than the usual dinners in the fridge stuff. We are so disconnected I never speak about myself, feelings, likes, interests anymore because he always puts them down and calls me incompetent.
I don’t know how to solve these issues and I’m not sure how to make him hear me without walking out on me or telling me it’s my own fault.
Any suggestions on what to do form here?
Husband doesn’t talk to me
Husband doesn’t talk to me
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Self Care
10 Replies
Darling he is the one abusing you. This is verbal and emotional abuse. Personally i would see a counsillor and gain your self condifence to leave. If he truly loved you he would listen to your feelings without judgement, he would listen to your dreams and your fears and help you with them. Not tell you they are stupid or that you are incompetent. Start making plans to leave i dont believe this abuse ever gets better.
I have sort of thought this myself and have started to emotionally disconnect as he doesn’t make any effort for me. I think you have just confirmed what I’ve been feeling. My parents tell me to try harder but I’ve been trying for 3 years and nothing so maybe it’s time to cut losses.
You are being abused emotionally and verbally.
You can’t fix this situation by staying in the relationship. You need to leave.
I’m sorry
Leave now!! He is abusing you, you deserve better xx.
Hi IM,
I am sorry if I have this wrong, however did you post recently about the plane incident? Another IM posted and the situation sounded extremely similar however the outburst was caused by the children running around the plane and being a nuissance.. which if you are the same person I can understand in that instant how he was agitated and said such things (because he may have meant it as in no one on this plane likes you right now).
However, addressing everything else. This is absolutely not normal nor fair on you, he is emotionally abusing you to the point of breakdown practically. You deserve better than this and he is manipulating you into thinking you're so worthless that you don't deserve happiness or success. Which is not true at all!
I can't see a way past this for you, he sounds like he just won't change and realistically, why would you want to stay with him if he is like this?
Does he suffer bi-polar by chance? He sounds like he has a lot of traits!
Nope I’m not the plane person. My son was on the plane and he slept through the man in front only realized he was onboard an hour before landing. I’m not sure if he has a mental illness it’s more he is really happy and fun with everyone else but once it’s me and him I’m the punching bag for his stress. So a lot of put downs and criticism towards me always calls me a liar for no real reason then when I’m upset it’s my fault for not being able to forget what he said. When I ask why he says these things he says he doesn’t know and that’s it end of conversation.
He doesn’t sound bipolar AT ALL, he sounds narcissistic.
He’s projecting, everything he is, he says you are.
You’re a liar, you’re abusive etc.
Does he accuse you of cheating?
He’s devaluing you, gas lighting you, please educate yourself.
Get out of the fog!
He’s gaslighting you. Leave
You know 99.9% of his bullshit is bullshit but you can 100% bank on if you don't like it leave. Why? Because he's flat out saying he doesn't think him or his behaviour is an issue therefore has no intention of fixing fuck all. Every minute you stay he erodes you more. He'll hear you loud and clear when you move out, keep it amicable for the kids sake but jeez all I'd want to do is tell him to fuck himself. You got this, set the goal and a time to achieve it and make it happen.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder. don't mention this to him. Go GREY ROCK and tiptoe out the back door!!!!