Hi
My 9 year old daughter’s behaviour has been very bad since the beinging of the year.
My question is even though she is naughty does that justify her getting Easter eggs.
I’m torn as I don’t believe she deserves them, however I don’t know if she will learn that her behaviour is unacceptable or will cause more problems
Does naughty behaviour still deserve Easter eggs??
Does naughty behaviour still deserve Easter eggs??
Posted in:
Kids
8 Replies
100% should get eggs (doesn’t deserve but that’s beside the point). Don’t use the magic and fantasy of Easter and Christmas to discipline your child. Maybe leave a note from the Easter Bunny explaining he has seen the way she’s been behaving and he is disappointed in her but do not take the magic away from her!
Bad behavior requires an immediate, consistent consequence that fits the crime.
Aside from morally objecting wholeheartedly with denying Easter, birthday and Christmas gifts as a punishment, i actually don't think it's effective. Do you think on Easter Sunday when she wakes up to find she received no eggs that she's going to sit back and think "oh geez, maybe I shouldn't have played up in the shops last week" or "I shouldnt have spoken rudely to mum that time back in January"?? Because I doubt it, by this point she wouldn't even remember what it was she did wrong...
9 year old kids don't have that kind of concept of time to fully comprehend this method and it will likely just shatter her self esteem and taint what should be a pleasant childhood memory.
If you're really struggling with her behaviour and it's sort of just started this year, you need to find out why she's acting out, get some professional help in terms of parenting if your techniques aren't working.
I have a 9 year old daughter, so don't think I don't understand how challenging their behaviour can be at this age but this isn't a good solution.
Yep. If you want to use it as a tool, add a note describing her positive attributes or what she's working on.
Ie) here's one big one for your kindness to your sister and friends. And here's one specially for how organised you are! (Brave, polite, assertive, caring, helpful, kind, strong, independent, determined, disciplined, etc)
I love to see that youre working on you temper, great job. (Manners, sharing, being a good friend, problem solving, honesty, etc)
Do not use it the other way to shame bad behaviour though.
Yes she does. If you have no other behaviour management in place then you're screwed. I'm not being horrible by saying that either, Easter, Christmas and Birthday only happen 3 times a year you can't and shouldn't use them as punishment.
It’s not immediate enough. It’s like telling a child they aren’t going on a holiday next year because they were naughty.
A punishment has to directly follow the behaviour.
If your daughter is being naughty since January there is something going on for her, wether that is hormonal or what ever and missing Easter eggs isn’t going to change that.
Christmas and easter shouldn't be used as a threat to discipline bad behaviour. Deal with the behaviour immediately.
No, my kids get one egg a year from the Easter bunny from me, my family then give them excessive amounts of Chocolate that either goes into cakes or into the bin (because kids don’t need that much chocolate) I threaten my kids that Santa will bring them coal for Christmas. But if the behaviour is that bad you can cancel Easter all together the punishment is real. Except kids need to be punished immediately or ASAP for bad behaviour. If my kids did something today (Wednesday) they’d get punished today for their behaviour becasue by Sunday they’ve forgotten what they did wrong and won’t understand why the Easter Bunny hates them becasue he didn’t stop by and leave her a solitary egg. If you’re using the Easter Bunny as a threat you may need to work on your discipline and find something that actually works on your child. My mum once cancelled Easter becasue she couldn’t afford it. We all thought the Easter Bunny forgot us because of that not that we had been too naughty as that’s Santa’s job not the Easter Bunnies job. My Nan brought Easter eggs over for me and my Siblings (not her grandies) and said the Easter Bunny accidentally left our eggs at her house becasue he thought we were going to be there for Breakfast not the other way around. I Haven’t believed in him since I was 7 when he delivered me dark chocolate instead of milk chocolate. The Easter Bunny is magical and should have known that I really didn’t like dark chocolate.
Doing so will make a child feel unloved and reinforce her bad behaviour. If the behavioural issues have been sustained, see a paediatrician. In the meantime, maybe change the language from negative to positive with short term and longer term goals and rewards. If that doesn't work, have consequences be immediate and logical.