My 12 year old daughter started high school this year. Along with this comes the days out with friends, wanting brand name things etc.
Firstly, how much do you give your child to go shopping/ movies etc with their friends? I understand everyone's budget is different.
Secondly, we are looking at pocket money. I struggle here because I can't get my head around paying my child to clean a house we all have to live in. I just feel it's a chore we all need to chip in to do in order to live comfortable. If I got paid to clean my house, it would be spotless! Lol. Once again, what is realistic amount of pocket money to give a 12 year old?
Tweenage Pocket money, outings with friends etc
Tweenage Pocket money, outings with friends etc
Posted in:
Money
8 Replies
My teenagers get paid for extra jobs like mowing the lawn, raking garden beds, washing the car, scrubbing the bathroom. They don't get paid for normal everyday jobs. I don't give them money to go shopping or movies unless its a birthday, they have to earn it.
I agree with this. Pay for the extra things they do, not the stuff they already should be doing.
I quite like his approach. I also think if they are going to earn money it should be for doing extras, not regular every day activities.
https://barefootinvestor.com/how-not-to-raise-a-spoilt-brat/
It’s of course totally reasonable and good to say no to our kids on some things.
Have a base wage of say $10 a week and then also have extra jobs on offer if you can afford it.
Washing the dog - $5
Washing the car - $10
Changing the sheets on the beds - $3 per bed
Toilet, dishes etc. $2 each
If going to a once off thing that isn't the norm maybe offer $20 instead. But I wouldn't be allowing days out with friends often, make it once a month special things
As much as it’s a chore everyone should be doing. I personally hate cleaning. As a kid I was forced to do the same job every week and never given pocket money or anything extra not even to go to movies. If I wanted anything I had to earn it. When I was 14 I got a job and I earnt my own money that my parents could not control. I would earn $2 to paint a fence, $2 to mow the lawn and $2 to paint a swing set or weed the edges of our yard. (My parents didn’t cough up the cash often and I actually hated that) It’s actually a good life lesson and teaches them how to be a good employee early in life. I had so many kids come through the place where I worked and that I hired who refused to do or didn’t know how to do the basics. Sweeping of floors, cleaning the toilet, cleaning windows, wiping down tables, picking up after themselves and I put that on the parents!! They never previously learned to earn their keep and expected to do nothing and still get paid. That’s not how the world actually works and is why we have so many people on the dole who can work but choose not to go and look for a job. Be a good parent give her a chores list of everything she must do in a week to earn her pocket money and if the jobs aren’t done then she doesn’t get anything. Honestly it’s the best thing you can do for your child. Everyone can have their own chores your child doesn’t have to do the whole house. But please please please from an employer perspective teach them what working entails before sending them off to the real world!! My best employees were kids that had to do chores at home and got paid for it. They really knew how the real world works and they were the ones that were given hours becasue they weren’t spoilt little brats who were given everything on a platter.
The majority on those on the dole can’t find work because there isn’t enough jobs. I lost my job 5 years ago and haven’t been able to get another one so I can voucher for the lack of jobs in this country. It has nothing to do with upbringing and no I am not on benefits!
I totally understand your point. However I’ve also seen a lot of the latter. My sister works 3 jobs becasue others didn’t want to do her job. So she picked up the slack of others and got given her jobs becasue she’s a fantastic worker with an excellent work ethic. I find that those who don’t want to work. And there are many in my home town. Make it so they don’t have to work or if they do manage to find a work they figure out how to get fired so they can go back on the dole. Ways they do this.
* turning up to work hung over and unable to work numerous times a week and wanting to get sent home and receive sick pay
* turning up to work under the influence of drugs and then being sent home becasue being under the influence of drugs is a OH&S issue.
* not turning up to shifts and then not answering phone calls to find out when they will be in and not calling in sick if they are sick and just not showing up
* having no work ethic at all and refusing to do the jobs required of them and the work they knew the job required when they went to the interview even after being given a list of jobs they’d be required to do and signing it with their parents
*lying about required time off and it’s purpose ie saying they have a medical appointment and going to the beach instead (becasue it’s a hot day)
* not completing the online training required to get shifts and then whinging they can’t get shifts even when given adequate time to complete the online training whilst on shift.
*turning up to interviews in inappropriate clothing dirty/rippe/stained clothes or clothes where you can see what they ate for breakfast
*quitting a job becasue it just gets too hard.
*not having references or being unable to use a references becasue they’ve done the wrong thing.
(You don’t apply for a job where cash handling is involved when you have a criminal record that states you’re a theif, you’d be surprised by how many people think you’ll give them a job in cash handling when they’ve been fired for theft or convicted of theft)
Yes some towns are struggling with work and it’s availiability, shops are shutting down and places are downsizing. However some people actually don’t want to work and will do what ever is in their power to keep themselves on the dole (not all people) raising your children with a good work ethic will help them keep a job when they get one and get them good references so employers will look at their resumes and go yep I want to interview that person. Their references are the best I’ve seen. I’ve refused to give references for people becasue I could not give them a positive reference (it’s illegal to give a bad reference in Australia it’s not illegal to refuse to give a reference) and that was enough to give their perspective employer the ability to say no I won’t even interview them.
I’m sorry you’re struggling to find work, it may be time to look elsewhere to find work be it another kind of position or just taking a menial job until you can get a better one. I know someone who won’t take a job that pays under 70k a year becasue they believe they’re worth more than that but are happy to sit on the shitty dole payment and do nothing instead. I worked for 42k a year and knew I had the potential to move to a higher bracket if only I was willing to move to the city and be posted there instead. I stayed where I was and continued to earn 42k knowing I had a higher value because I wasn’t poor, I just wasn’t going to go anywhere. Then I found out about my child’s Autism and life got tougher and I couldn’t continue to do the same job so I took an hour cut and a pay cut just so I stayed in the system. They kept me because of my ethic and did everything in their power to keep me in a job!
I never got pocket money, if I wanted to go out with my friends my mum would usually just give me money for bus fare for the day and some change for lunch (or tell me to pop home to eat) so probably $10 at most and it certainly wasn't an every weekend type of thing. Occasionally she'd give me $20 to see a movie, buy a new CD or get in to the local footy etc, but those things were rare treats and depended entirely on my behaviour, which looking back I think was fair.
If I wanted to go shopping with my friends I had to save my birthday or Christmas money for that.
Mostly though, my friends and I did things that cost nothing (or at least very little), we hung out at the skate park or beach, wandered around to each other's houses, we'd scrape together all our silver change and get hot chips from the local milkbar.
I don't know if we were just poor (we were housing commission kids in a low socioeconomic area) or if money is just a necessity for modern day kids to have fun/get by?
Anyhoo, my kids are fast approaching this stage (upper primary aged). I refuse to just give my kids pocket money for simply existing, no one pays me to exist lol. I won't pay pocket money for basic contributions to the household either, keeping rooms clean, picking up after ones self, doing their own washing, helping with dishes and meal preparations etc. Thats all just expected in my house, a basic life skill.
I think I will take a week by week approach, i.e. "you want money for the weekend? Here's X,Y, Z jobs you can do to earn that" i think $15 -$20 is fair for a standard day out. For special instances i may do more, depending what it is.
(I may add, this won't be an every weekend occurance for my 12/13 year olds).
As soon as they're old enough they'll be encouraged to get a part time job though, then they can fund their own social life!