TRIGGER WARNING- past sexual assault/abuse and now.

Hi IMs,
I need your help.
I have a long list of adverse life experiences including mostly sexual abuse from multiple people throughout most of my life.
I have had PTSD and other mental health issues for as long as I can remember.

I became a mum as a teen and went on to be a fulltime carer for my special needs daughter.
Married a wonderful man and had my second child at 22.
When I met my husband I had never experienced a loving consensual sexual relationship and didn't know how.
Unknowingly, I went on to continue the behaviours I was taught.
My husband being a beautiful man who only wanted to make me happy followed my lead so to speak. Not knowing it was damaging behaviours but thinking it was a quirk or kink of mine.
It's taken many years for me to come to terms with my history and have only recently realized that by doing these things I have been re traumatizing myself.
I have been completely honest about this with my husband and he as always has been very supportive.

Here comes the problem.
We have tried every possible way to improve our sexual behaviours and bring romance/love into our sex lives. We both see psychologists and are openly talking about it all.
Now I know I'm going to receive some very judgemental comments and trust me when I say I hate that I feel this way and am trying desperately to come to some form of a solution where neither of us end up hurt or resentful.
I've come to realise I have never had the opportunity/ability to explore or even begin to understand my sexuality. I have this overwhelming want/need to find myself in that way. I can't seem to move past it. As hard as I try.
How can I possibly turn the man that I love, who loves me despite my past and all my flaws and tell him that I need to explore in this way?
Tell me IMs what do I do?