My 13 year old daughter is refusing to use hygiene practices while dealing with her period. It's driving me crazy. She has the underwear, she has the sanitary products, she knows how to use them, but just doesn't. I explained that if she bleeds through her clothes at school she is most likely going to get given a hard time from her peers. I just don't know what to do with her. Any constructive advice please. I should mention that she has no medical conditions or cognitive problems. She was however sexually assaulted as a child but has had relevant trauma counselling and hasn't needed counselling for a few years. This is only her second period. Please no judgement, I'm doing the best I can.
7 Replies
I wonder if the periods/blood has perhaps triggered memories that have in a way reopened old wounds?
Some girls really struggle to adjust to this new life stage too, I remember feeling so gross and embarrassed for ages about it all as well.
I think maybe revisiting the counselling may be necessary to help her get through some tough feelings she's obviously experiencing!
Try counselling again, her periods could be bringing back some traumatic memories and she is trying to shut it out by pretending it doesn't exist. You could try period undies in the meantime.
I would imagine the bleeding and becoming a woman bringing up traumatic episodes for her. There's so much pressure these days among peers that once you have your period, you're a woman ready for sex and to her that is probably really daunting and something she is choosing not to acknowledge.
I'd get her some help from a counsellor. Can she wear dark colour clothing to school whilst she has her period? The first few aren't overly heavy but as it goes on it'll become blatantly obvious if she bleeds through.
You could also make her clean her clothes and do the washing when there's blood stains everywhere.
Yep, straight back to therapy. I’d also explore stopping her periods with her and her doctor.
An an immediate thing, get her period underwear, modi body etc, they won’t fix the why, but it will give her options, you some security she won’t get hassled. And time to tackle the biggest issue. My guess this is freaking her out and spending time dealing with her lady parts dredges up memories but hey I am not an expert. I would say re engage with her specialist and see where you need to go next
Lifelong therapy is required!
Please provide her with ongoing support by a professional trauma counselor. All sorts of things can and will trigger her throughout her life
Definitely see about getting her some help.
I was abused as a child and when my periods first hit I didn't want to tell anyone and couldn't handle talking about it. No one besides my doctor, my mum and my now husband know how suicidal I actually felt everytime I got them. I don't know why I was OK otherwise.
I didn't like wearing anything either. While all my friends were chatting about it I was shrinking inside.
Please don't push her just talk to her and get her some help.