Do you ever feel like whatever you do it's not good enough?? Every bloody day is a struggle...
I should explain ..I have a neurological condition called Idiopathic intracranial Hypertension and a 7 mm Aneurysm...(waiting on surgery)
I have to drive one son to work everyday and the other to job network bullcrap, whenever they deem necessary..
Today I have been on the verge on tears..then my son loses his crap in the kitchen trying to feed the dogs (which I asked him once to do before dinner) then accuses me of harassing him to do it...
Then I go out to the kitchen to help him and he says I am getting in his way...
Like a mini man tantrum..
Ok so he has been diagnosed with schizophrenia but I still don't tolerate it..
Tonight I couldn't be arsed and just did it myself...
He was going to feed them frozen chicken wings..
Now if I don't ask him to do things around the house to help me out he just sits in his room on the computer or sleeps all day as he has been up all night playing online games...
He is 24 friggin years old ...tell me it gets easier ??
He won't ring and make appointments with the psychiatrist ..missed one that's it..
He won't go again..
He won't go to the doctor to renew his mental health care plan...
He ended up in hospital by overdosing on his medication and had some pretty serious side effects and was put in on a mental health hold...was in hospital for about 10 days...
I need advice?? Help ?? Something ...
I feel like just walking away ...I don't want to be here anymore...
I have had it...enough is enough
And before you judge me my 30 yr old went through the same thing and still is...
I have BiPolar also but I take my medication and I don't drink or do drugs to self medicate ...
I am at the end of my tether..Emotional... Angry About to give up!!
I am at the end of my tether..Emotional... Angry About to give up!!
Posted in:
Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression
5 Replies
Move out mum. They are adults you have your own shit to deal with. It will get better when you move on
I agree! Take the dogs and move. Your sons are adults. Of course if mums there taking care of everything, they won't need to stand on their own two feet and take more responsibility for themselves. Yes, your 24 year old has a pretty serious mental health issue, but he coukd be doing better! Eg. Attending regular psychologist appointments, doctors appointments, not staying up all night playing online games and having better structure.
You have your own issues and it soubds like your buring out! What kind of support network do you have?
Oh love! Are you seeing a psychologist for your self?
Hi Mumma,
My suggestion would be to choose what is absolute worst to bearable and set some goals. Whatever is causing you the most stress tackle to eliminate it ASAP, and work your way down the list so that by the time you get to the most bearable thing, it won't be so doom and gloom. Give yourself a proper timeframe, maybe say within 1 year your son has moved out.
For me personally, I'd start with making your son organise his own appointments. But don't stress yourself silly over it, once you've moved out then chances are he won't make them until necessary.
I would start writing down some boundaries and regulations, set time frames and D-days ect.
Sit them down, show them what you’ve written down. And have that as your last ditch effort to allow for change.
Daily tasks they NEED to complete each morning or afternoon, 1 day a week focused on calls/making those dreaded appointments (for son who won’t) ... without question, without prompting. To make your life easier.
Have schedules or work rosters up on a calendar for everyone to see so that you can organise/manage drop offs. (I feel like taxi-mum wouldn’t feel so hard on you if they willingly helped out a little more at home) but also, if work is walking distance, maybe arrange 1 day a week they walk. Or public transport.
Give them a month or two to get YOUR new rules/regulations/boundaries down pat. Other wise, make it loud and clear that they either have to move out or you do. Don’t allow for things not to change, they must.
Have a weekly meeting, where you sit down at the dinner table and delegate tasks out to them.. it’s onyl fair they pick up their game since you do everything else including drive them everywhere when they are old enough to get their license.
STOP DOING EVERYTHING FOR THEM, even if it makes life easier.
Life is hard doing everything for them anyway. So what’s the difference between having man-tantrums while they do simple tasks, compared to the mental slog of doing it all on your own? I know which I’d choose... let him have a sook as much as he likes... walk away.
You’ve got this. It’s not easy, but I think you just need to break the cycle and stick firm, in order for them to lift their game