So I've been in a dark place for a while. My family has fallen apart. Long story short, someone very trusted to us has done the worst thing to our child. Family took sides. Police are involved. Court case dragging on. Simply put its shit. We have bettered our lives and are close with supportive family members. I am just still really struggling to get up and do anything beyond the basics like housework school runs etc. I'm on anti depressants which have definitely helped from where I was. And I also have a psychologist I see. I'm after personal experiences, tips to motivate me. I know logically get out and exercise, eat well, hobbies etc. I dont really have hobbies as I've always worked a lot. What do other people do all day other than work?
9 Replies
I’m so sorry this has happened to you. Sadly I have had personal experience with this. I felt like I was at the bottom of a pit. The only thing that helped was to keep talking and keep the kids talking to the right people. Regular social worker appointments at a facility specialised in child abuse.
Antidepressants have their place but even the companies that produce them will tell you there is no evidence to support them being effective after 24 weeks - that’s not to say you should just stop them abruptly because withdrawals are terrible but if you’ve been on them for longer than that they probably are not helping anymore.
It does get better. My children have AMAZING support network through our church and a small group of people who know their story and step up on the hard weeks to remind them they are loved and should feel no shame. Sometimes we are angry and being allowed to talk that out or punch a punching bag is helpful. Hang in there momma.
I was told by my psychiatrist that I need to be on mine for a minimum of 5 years because I keep have reoccurring depression. Maybe try changing your tablets? I’ve tried numerous and am now on Lexapro which have been the best for me
So sad for your poor baby. Some people are monsters. I pray for you and your child that you can find the strength to find some light & comfort in each day. This would be every parents worst nightmare. Thinking of you mumma. Stay strong ❤️
It's good that you have support around you. Sorry for what you have been through. You're right, exercise, hobbies etc. are logical but it can be hard to stay motivated. Maybe step out into the community and find part-time/casual work (nothing strenuous), or find some volunteer work for a couple of days/nights a week, or maybe do some study. Be kind to yourself.
This could be me! Am only 6 months in and have quit my job .. I just can’t deal with the daily stuff that was so easy in the past. I’m just stuck in limbo waiting for something to happen ... and I’m not even sure what I’m waiting for. Pretty much my entire friend circle and support network have turned against me. And at the end of the day, we didn’t do anything wrong! The actions of one other person has put us all in this horrific situation and myself and my daughter are copping the blame. I’m so sorry I have no useful advice but know that you are not alone. I just try and focus on getting my kids sorted and keeping their lives as normal as possible. The rest is just one day at a time.
OP here 😊 I am so sorry for what you are going through. Ours has been a 6 month journey so far and I have quit an amazing job, we have moved our family to a new town, now I'm trying to find work but was feeling so flat it made it hard. I've started picking up some casual shifts and I feel great about it, mentally I'm still shaky bit definitely ready to rejoin the world slowly. The kids are amazing little beings. They are happy and loving life, they still have moments of sadness and anger about things but that's when we sit and chat with a snack or drink and make the time to talk it out. It's hard but it definitely helps. I find I repeat myself a lot but its almost as if the more I talk about it the lighter I feel 😊 I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I truly hope you and your family get there soon xoxo
Thank you everyone for the thoughts and the suggestions xoxo I'm feeling better than I have been and am ready to get back into life again slowly but surely 😊 and for others going through these things, I am so sorry xoxo it sucks, it's hard, but we just keep on going for the ones we love xoxo
What an amazing Mama you are. My heart breaks for you and your little one. But I can see what an inspiring human you are. I don't know about what's on offer where you are, but joining a support group of other parents who have faced the same horrors can also help you feel less alone. And finding what you love again, including work if it's good for you, to have another meaning and purpose and other things to think of.
I also struggle with mental illness. For me and some friends we find that lists work really well.
I have a white board with everything that needs to be done around the house daily, weekly etc.
Then the night before I write a small achievable list. On the list I have the basics, shower, feed animals, packs lunches etc. Then a few other tasks such as do a load of washing and hang out, sweep floors, wipe kitchen bench, do dishes, mop, tidy (insert chosen room here).
If you don't manage to tick off everything on your list then put it on tomorrows.
I have also found that I doing one task then sitting down for a bit then doing another task can also help because you are spreading it out.
I love reading (I know it's not for everyone, some use audio books) and self help books are some good ones for you to do something and learn from it at the same time.
Some good ones are Change your thinking, The inflamed mind (depression), lost connections (depression), don't let anything dull your sparkle, you are enough, first we make beasts beautiful (anxiety), the act of not falling apart, read me first, think less be more, living with it, letting it go, the confidence trap and the happiness trap.
Good luck