Good evening fellow mums and dads out there. Tonight i gave my kids/teens an extra hug and have been in several times just to look at them sleeping. Our middle child came home today from school and waited hours to tell us one of his friends had committed suicide. Im terribly upset for the childs family, i have lost friends and loved ones and the feeling is one you never forget. The questions of why dont go away. i am hurt that my sons school arranged counselling last period today but didnt give any parents the heads up. Instead leaving out child at 14 to process the events of the day and up to him to broach the subject with us. We had chats with him to let him know he was there to support and provide friendship to his friend and by no way is this his fault. Had anyone been through this with your child? What support do we need to provide or what should we do to help. Feeling helpless when my child needs me.
Teen suicide - how to support my child through their loss
Teen suicide - how to support my child through their loss
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression
6 Replies
My friend attempted suicide in highschool. She was in hosipital for a long time. Unfortunately it left a ripple effect through the school that set off multiple suicide attempts. Go to the school and fond out what their policy is when a situation like this occures because the kids will need ongoing support!! Not just a 6th period counselling session and i cannot believe parents were left out of the loop!!! Thats the kids main support system uninformed.
Find a counsellor outside of school too, try headspace. Its really inportant their is support!
I have been throughh this twice with my kids, 2 of my kids have had a friend commit suicide and I also had a school friend commit suicide, plus a few other people along the way. The 'looking for signs of depression' further down the page is mine and this is why I'm always looking for signs of it in other people, whether I know them or not.
The best support your child will get right now is from his friends, kids really pull together at times like this, they all know what each other is going through. Embrace that, let him use social media to his hearts content for the next week or two and attend any memorials.
Teach him how to look for severe depression in other people, and what to do if he sees it. This brings a bit of control back and a feeling as though you may be able to stop someone going through what this child went through. Also if there is ever a cause revealed, such as bullying he can become proactive with anti bullying campaigns to feel like he is making a difference.
Beyond Blue website is excellent, plenty of great advice on there for you and him and he can ring them anytime he wants a chat if he needs.
I lost my best friend at 25 to suicide and I couldn’t cope, I can’t imagine how a 14 year old is meant to cope. I think the school has done wrong. They should have sent a memo out to all the parents and teachers. It’s very important to open up the communication lines so parents are able to be open and prepared with the kids when they arrive home from school. No only this, it could help save the lives of other teenagers going through suicidal thoughts. Back in the day suicide at 14 was pretty unheard when I was at school. These days it is far too common and social media has a lot to play in the bullying side of things. Be very open with your son. Seek counsiliing for him if need be. I would say to seek help through the school but they sound shocking in the way they have dealt with it. Just please be very open with him and make him talk to you. Make him understand that this poor child was in a different kind of pain that no one could see and there was nothing that anyone could do. Just make it it known daily that you are there for him at all times for comfort and questions. Reassure him before he goes to school and after. It’s such a confusing, emotional, heartbreaking time.i feel for teenagers these days. I’m sure you already do these things. I’m just speaking from experience because I know how alone I felt when I lost my best friend. It’s painful, confusing and we have so many what ifs.? The reality is there was no what ifs, if it wasn’t then, it would have been a diff time. My friend was in pain and wanted to find his peace. At 14 though it’s awful to think kids the days have that much weight on their shoulders. Their lives haven’t even begun 😢 I blame social media for most of it. Once we left school there was never any bullying and we didn’t have access for bullies to get to us out of school hours. These days it’s available 24/7 social media. My kids won’t be having it or any technology. Please also give beyond blue a call, they will offer you some great advice in ways to help him cope with it.
We went through this just before the Christmas break. It is heartbreaking.
School was an amazing support to the entire community. Discussions and private meetings were held and Mental health topics were discussed at length.
My child knew the person who committed suicide, but wasnt in a close circle.
My child ended up being a support for those that were close.
Funeral was attended (by choice) and talking about it certainly helped.
I have seen the children that were close struggle. Plenty of low moments and we just held them up until they were strong enough to take the next step.
Its a long process. Little things trigger memories and it feels like we take a step back in the grieving process, but thats ok too.
A GP can provide a mental health care plan to get some visits to a psychologist too. It can help even just knowing there is someone else to vent to.
Teen years are hard enough without adding this to the mix. Sending you much strength x
I would be taking him for counselling. Suicide is the hardest to deal with. My kids father committed suicide 4 years ago, My youngest child's (15) friend attempted suicide 2 weeks ago and is now talking about harming himself. Seek professional help asap
Please contact Support After Suicide in your state. They helped me tremendously