Hi guys, please bare with me this will take long to explain.
Edit; I also forgot to add that I was called by the police a few days after asking if I would testify, I said I wasn’t sure but then didnt get a call back
My daughter is 14 and has a friend who is 14, her friend stayed a few times at our house and confided in my daughter that there was abuse going on a at home, lots of yelling and also punching and hitting from both parents. She would also call my daughter crying almost daily, feeling like she wanted to commit suicide etc. she ran away from home and asked me to come and get her so I did and I messaged her mum to let her know where she was, I asked her mum if she wanted to let her stay or if she wanted me to bring her home, her mother said she could stay so I dropped my daughter and her daughter at school the next day. My daughters friend then confided in a friend at school about the abuse and then that friend told the principle and the principle called the girl in and my daughters friend told the school everything that had been happening at home, the school then called the police and she was taken there by police, her friend told the police everything. as her friend was in the police station she sent my daughter pics of her neck and face where there were red marks where she had been strangled and hit for putting up a picture in her room as she was told not to as they didn’t want holes in the wall. I got my daughter to send me those pics to show my partner. That’s when I got a call from the police to come and pick my daughters friend up. When I went there they asked me about what I knew so I told them and also showed them the pics which I had to email to the officer, he then put me in a room with my daughters friend, that’s when her parents came to the police station with their younger children and were yelling at the officers and all of a sudden you hear a huge smack or slap and the little 3 yr old starts crying so from what I heard the father had smacked the child in the police station, the police didn’t do anything. Once the parents left they asked if I would take my daughters friend home for the night as she wasn’t allowed to go home with her parents so I did take her home and I was also told not to communicate with the parents until further notice. The police then called my daughters friend the next day to tell her that her parents had been arrested and taken in for questioning where an avo was put out on them and that it was okay for my daughters friend to go home as it was an in home AVO where they weren’t allow to assault their daughter. I was told I could talk to her parents so I contacted her mum and told her what was happening on my end, I also asked in the msg if she wanted me to bring her daughter home and what time would suit her etc, she never replied instead she sent her daughters grandparents over with 2 bags packed and was told that she could stay at my house until further notice, her mother also sent me a msg saying that her daughter was to stay with me for the time being, eventually we messaged back and forth (I supported the mum through texts and tried to give her comfort and understanding, I was kind and respectful to her and not judging the situation they were in) all she was saying was how much of a liar her daughter was, and how bad her daughter is and how all this was her daughters fault (regardless of what she was saying I still tried to comfort the mother through text), I understand she was angry but not once did she ask how her daughter was, if she could speak with her or even organise a time to come and sort it out, which I understood for the first couple of days or a week but was confused as to why she didn’t try to reach out after she had time to calm down, instead she called her daughter telling her she was sending docs over to take her to foster care and overall just screaming and yelling and putting their daughter in a state of panic and tears etc anyway through text message the mother told me she couldn’t have her daughter in the family anymore as she cant be trusted destroyed the family and that they were signing her over to the state, and that no one in the family wanted her. As a few weeks past the messages kept getting more strange, rude and weird so I had enough of the mothers behaviour, rude and weird texts and also had enough of the lack of care and love for their daughter especially the stressful calls they were making to my daughters friend, I confronted her through text and basically told her that I was trying to help and I shouldn’t be treated or disrespected in regards to the way she was speaking to me and that her daughter was having a hard time with the abusive calls etc, the mother then texted back and said “we lied about saying we were signing over our daughter to the state we just wanted to see your reaction as we think you are trying to take our daughter and you were the one who told the police” (that text gobsmacked me and I questioned wether any of her texts had some truth in them. I never told on them, her daughter told the school and the school called the police as I stated above) anyway I tried to keep the communication open but she stopped replying back on some things especially in regards to her daughters medication she never replied back to that unless it was to tell me how bad her daughter was. Eventually I got in contact with her Aunty and she informed me that they would be taking my daughters friend, all they needed to do was book flights which they organised with the mum. I chose to keep in contact with them as the mother was really hard to communicate with so I felt it was in the best interest of the child to communicate with her Aunty which is what I did. Her Aunty told me not to communicate with her sister as it would just make things worse for me and them which I agreed as the mother was truly awful to deal with. Please know that I understand her anger and frustration but if that was my child I would at least try and figure out what was happening wether she lied or not. I believe my daughters friend especially after dealing with her mum, she didn’t have anything nice to say about her daughter. Fast forward a couple of weeks since I got the call from the police, the plane tickets were organised and I drove her to the airport so she could go and live with her Aunty which the mother agreeded to. After that I get a msg from the mother accusing me of telling the police and trying to take her daughter away which I never did all I did was give her a place to stay when her parents wouldn’t have her home and no one else in her family that lived close wanted her either. My daughter is still in contact with her friend and her friend has sent my daughter phone calls that her friend recorded of her mum saying she’s going to put an AVO on my family, she’s saying this to her daughter but not directly messaging me or calling me (I haven’t heard from the mother since I blocked her), her daughter is sending my daughter the phone call recordings of the convo she had with her mum and my daughter is showing me the recording, the mother has also said to her daughter that they are talking to lawyers about us, that I am a liar, ugly, fat and I look disgusting , that a judge told them I had tried to steal 7 kids and tear apart 7 different families which I never ever did, that my family is nasty and we are awful people, apparently she got most of the information off my friends, which is ridiculous cause I only speak with my family that live here no one else knows us. She also said she’s going to get a solicitor to go and get her daughter from her sisters and is going to get a court order for her daughter to take her back from her sister. Can someone please tell me what a lawyer is going to serve me with? I haven’t threatened her or even contacted her since her daughter left my care, I blocked all her numbers and Facebook and have had no communication, through these recorded phone calls she has had with her daughter she says that my family needs to be punished for getting involved, I didn’t mean to get involved, I was asked by police to take the girl as she had no where to go that’s all I did was take her in. What can my daughters friends mother take me to court for? Cause I can’t think of a reason and I am confused. Can she put an AVO out on me and my family for giving her daughter a place to stay? Her daughter is so upset by all these accusations and calls my daughter in tears because of what they say about us, her daughter has asked her mum to leave us alone but her mother says they’re already putting something together with their lawyer. Please can someone tell me what she can do to me legally when I know I have done nothing wrong? The mother also says I am in her daughters ear, I haven’t told her daughter to do anything all I have done is care for her and surround her with love cause that’s what she needed at the time. Thanks for listening.
Ps I know I am only hearing this info cause my daughter has contact with her friend but I just don’t think it’s fair to punish the girls by stopping them connecting and speaking with each other when they’re close and already been through so much together. But if it gets to a point where I have to, I will do what’s best but for now it’s okay and I know that we have done nothing but help their daughter so if they want to try and punish us for that, I feel they will have no luck and just waste there time and money.
Update: my daughter told me her friend is going back with her parents and I feel the mother will block and stop all contact with my daughter which is okay by me as that’s her child and she can do what she needs to. I do think it’s unfair to punish my child because me and my partner took her daughter in when no one in her family wanted her (exact words the mother told me when I had her daughter) before I took her home from the police station I had to be approved by cps before she was allowed to stay which I was approved for. I have done what was asked of me and whilst I think their daughter is an amazing talented young girl there’s not much more I can other then look after my own family and move forward. At the end of the day I do not trust them as adults. They’ve already told their daughter that my daughter is too ugly and doesn’t have a six pack therefore my daughter isn’t good enough to be their daughters friend, so I really don’t know if there friendship will work out anyway. Overall what I do know is I don’t want them anywhere near my daughter period, but I feel bad for both girls as I know they adore each other.
20 Replies
Go to the police. It’s harassment.
So crazy! Maybe a Misconduct Restraining Order will help you? Ignore her threats you haven't done anything wrong. Poor girl maybe she needs to stop taking phone calls from Mum.
If there’s no evidence you’ve done anything then don’t worry . Let them waste their money , they are just looking for someone to blame . The 14 year old will vouch that you took care of her . Remember, lawyers and courts need evidence and theirs is so petty that it will go nowhere . Lawyers don’t serve you with papers either by the way . There is nothing to serve anyway and in hindsight, if you were summonsed to court , it would be thrown out because there’s no proof you did anything wrong . You never abused the kid , they did . The police know this too by asking you to take her in and by them knowing her story. I’m sure there’s been statements that they’ve written on the case .
Don’t believe a word that the ‘mother’ says. She will ultimately fail . Oh and also you can contest an AVO . Again , she needs evidence.
Shes harrassing you because she was called out and you were trusted with her daughter so shes lashing out atyou because you highlight everything shes not. A decent human being.
Go to the police. Show them the text messages. They can file an AVO on her to stop harrassing you.
Screen shot the messages and save them. But block her on your phone so she cannot contact you anymore.
Honestly, I call bullshit on her speaking to a solicitor. What a load of garbage. And even if she did, it won't go anywhere. There is so much evidence stacked up against them. Just keep all her messages since the incident started and put it out of your mind. Shes clearly a nut case.
She’s trying to intimidate you into not speaking to the police/courts about her disgusting treatment of her daughter.
It’s all bluff. She’s scared shitless she’s going to get in trouble, and hopefully she will.
You will most likely not be served with anything. The mother is throwing a tantrum and a lawyer will want some evidence before serving anything. Lawyers don’t like being made to look like idiots.
If you do happen to get served you have nothing to worry about.
The mother is blowing it out her ass. She's got nothing and knows it but she's grandstanding for anyone stupid enough to listen. Document as much as you can including dates and witnesses. If it gets to the point you've had a gut full call the cops to shut her up.
I go get legal advice
I find people like this are full of piss and wind. She probably has no intention of getting lawyers involved, in any event, what can they do? You took a kid in that needed it!
I'm sure the police reports would reflect that also.
It's just easier for this mum to project all the blame back onto you because the alternative would mean she'd need to take accountability herself. From what I've observed, people will go to any lengths to avoid doing that, I know a few people who had their kids removed by CPS but it's everyone else's fault and they even talked about taking it to the media. Needless to say, that never happened.
I wouldn't worry about it unless it happens!
You have blocked this person, calls, FB etc. The only reason you are getting fed back now is because of your daughters friend. Cut those ties too.
This is not your battle, the police are involved, family are involved and other professionals agencies will now be involved to help this girl and her family.
You helped her get to a safe environment with family. She needs to heal with the people who have her now.
There will be no AVO issued, if you step away from the situation completely. If you continue to be involved they might find reason to issue a AVO.
Your daughters calls could possibly be recorded to.
Be very careful and walk away from the entire situation.
Yes I agree, no need to be involved at all now.
So you’re saying I should stop my daughter from talking to her friend? I’m not responding or talking to her daughter about the situation, my daughter has showed me and told me about what the mother has said and I have no contact with the mum, I helped the girl and now I have no contact with her in regards to the issue at hand. My daughters friend is on my Facebook but I only like her pics nothing more. I just don’t feel I should punish my daughter and her daughter for the situation they’re in. Apart from my child talking to her child that’s all communication there is. I won’t punish the girls for the mother’s actions long as I don’t communicate with the mother or the situation I don’t see an issue
Thank you so much for your advice tho. I just spoke to my daughter and I told her that she’s not to listen to her friend speaking about her mum making threats to our family and to also know that we haven’t done anything wrong and it’s just a scare tactic and there is truly nothing to worry about. She’s also agreed to not tell me anymore and to no longer let her friend send her through the recordings she makes. If that doesn’t work out then I will stop all contact.
Apparently my daughters friend is returning to her parents and I have told my daughter that we helped her when she needed but now we will no longer allow us to be involved in the situation even if it doesn’t work out and she asks for help again, I know that sounds mean but I just can’t put my family through that again when I already did what I had to the first time. I hope when she does return home things can heal and they can all be happy.
Get a restraining order on the family. Clearly they are feral and won’t be getting solicitors involved 😂 they can’t look after their kids and it’s proven. What would a solicitor do.??? 🙄 stop listening to it through your daughter now, she needs to cut contact for now with the girl if she’s going back. I know it’s hard but you tried, you helped, she is choosing to go back and it’s now out of Your hands. The police know and will be doing checks so will the school so leave it up to them, it’s not your problem now.
Get a restraining order on the family. Clearly they are feral and won’t be getting solicitors involved 😂 they can’t look after their kids and it’s proven. What would a solicitor do.??? 🙄 stop listening to it through your daughter now, she needs to cut contact for now with the girl if she’s going back. I know it’s hard but you tried, you helped, she is choosing to go back and it’s now out of Your hands. The police know and will be doing checks so will the school so leave it up to them, it’s not your problem now.
Get a restraining order on the family. Clearly they are feral and won’t be getting solicitors involved 😂 they can’t look after their kids and it’s proven. What would a solicitor do.??? 🙄 stop listening to it through your daughter now, she needs to cut contact for now with the girl if she’s going back. I know it’s hard but you tried, you helped, she is choosing to go back and it’s now out of Your hands. The police know and will be doing checks so will the school so leave it up to them, it’s not your problem now.
This sounds like my family in NSW and that child’s name starts with an M,
(May not be,but very similar story I’ve just been told)
I live very far away from them and have them blocked,
But I know this has just happened along the grapevine,
Please don’t discuss this with your daughter at all, but if it is,stay the hell away from them for your own good!
Toxic and violent!
My first concern is for the child. If she currently has been strangled at all in the past she would be at extremely high risk of being killed. Strangulation is highly abusive and has a higher risk of death. Can you call the police you dealt with and let them know you believe she is returning. That child needs to be very far away from this family. Secondly i can't see how it would be possible to take legal action against you but very abusive people will sometimes try despite the being little chance. Don't speak on the phone. Record everything if you have any direct contact. And get your own legal advice from a community legal centre in your state/ region. Finally, please ensure your daughter shares everything with you. I found the bit at the end of your story about asking your daughter not to share things with you very disturbing. You need to know so you can protect her and her friend. Also if she is exposed to all this you need to decide what is and isn't ok for her and she needs to be able to share the load. She shouldn't deal with anything of this alone. Take care of you and your daughter. This sounds totally horrible and frightening. I hope the girl finds a way to stay with a safe family member like the Aunty.
You are dealing with Narcissistic Sociopaths. They are PROJECTING what they are ONTO you. DO NOT take it personally. They are distorted and not fully functioning in the brain. They are threatening you and blaming you, it's what Narcissistic Sociopaths do. It's HEAD WREAKING..... block them. They cannot do anything to you through the courts as you acted with a duty of care. All the name calling and belittling and nastiness... that's what they themselves are, getting mud slung on to you and your daughter. disengage. Have NOTHING to do with them. Their poor daughter will need help later on..... She's the child of a narcissistic toxic family :( No love, just abuse :(