Is it bad that this year I didn’t buy my sister in laws or brothers in laws a gift?
My partner had a few siblings and every year we buy the siblings and their partners a gift each and every year we don’t get anything back.
We buy for the the nieces and nephews and get nothing for our kids. We are in no ways well off, I buy small but nice gifts, however this year I only bought for the children not for the adults as I don’t think it’s fair that my kids miss out every year and we don’t even get a box of chocolates yet we are the ones that always host Xmas as we have a larger home.
Should I just mention before the day I didn’t buy anything for the adults or just leave it?
8 Replies
Just leave it! I must admit i don't buy for adults either but if anyone bought for me I would buy them something back. I would explain that they don't have to buy me anything because we just buy for kids at Christmas. Pretty rude of them to not buy for your kids.
Adults don't buy for each other in my family, we don't want or need anything so there's no point, we just enjoy each other's company!
That said, if I choose to buy a gift for anyone, it's because I want to. It's not out of obligation, it's not because I want something for myself or my children in return. It's merely to enjoy the moment of giving.
If gifting to your in-laws doesn't give you that feeling, then don't. If they're rude enough to ask where their gift is, just say "I'm only buying for children now on".
Don’t give to receive, give because you want to.
If you resent them and don’t want to, then don’t.
No need to say anything, they don’t when they don’t buy for you.
You don’t give to receive. But maybe just don’t buy for adults.
I’m more upset my kids don’t get anything in return. They’re now at an age where they notice that Aunty and uncle so and so didn’t get them anything again when they’re cousins got something from mum and dad
This crap has happened in our family too. I'd ask what everyone is doing re Christmas presents. If it is nothing for adults and kids you know can prepare your kids for nothing and if you still choose to buy the nieces and nephews something you have made an educated decision. This year I'm only buying for my kids and have explained we can't afford it. Christmas is also hosted by me but I have also made it crystal clear that we can't afford it and everyone is bringing food equally. I have also said one year, you can use my house but your hosting this year not me and left the major food up to others.
That’s really shit! But I think you take the high road! Their children will remember you always gave to them. My BIL and SIL never acknowledge my kids birthdays not even a text or call.. I have always spoilt their kids and their kids are old enough to realise that we suddenly stop so I have reduced what I spend but always have a gift and call for them in their birthdays and sleep well at night.
I wouldn't say anything. I actually hate that my kids get gifts from every relative. It gets out of hand and makes it harder to teach them to be grateful. So if you don't get anything, it's probably what they have been wanting. But next year, sens a text and ask what others are doing? It took years to break the mindset of some family members that bought for everyone... But we finally have a secret santa with the family. We use a program called elfstar. People confirm that they want to be involved, then the program sends out emails advising that you got x for secret santa. Works great.