Am i the one in the wrong...because im being made feel like im in the wrong.....
Cut it short iv done christmas 2 yrs running do practically everything.... last year i hosted it soley at my place my sisters chipped in $140 another was a $100 and my mum $150....everything else needed i paid for my self.... my sisters both have familys of 5 and i have a family of 3 my child eats like a sparrow but... so really its only for 2 adults.....my youngest sister has decided its her turn and has asked each family to give her 200 dollars towards the day bye the end of the week and if u didnt like the conditions dont bother commin....i said that it was far too much money for my little family to contribute and i would just not attend to save the drama.....now christmas is cancelled and im the one to blame because im a stingy c*#t and have ruined it for everyone else.....
24 Replies
Prices have gone up
You can’t just go to a restaurant and say of my kid won’t eat the full meal so I’m not paying for them but I want them to have food.
My husbands work hosts Christmas lunches/dinners. They charge $170 a head, the price of the food actually accounts for a very small amount of that $170, the majority of it goes to staff wages and business profits.
I would certainly hope her family isn't trying to make profits!!
I don't disagree that food can be expensive but 3 people are never going to eat $200 of food in one sitting.
We hold a family Xmas of 12 adults and 6 kids
I’d easily spend over $400 on food and drinks
If I’d asked people to chip in I’d be really peeved off if my sister in law said oh but my kids are little so we won’t pay the same as everyone else
Absolutely, but a restaurant dinner is not the same as a family gathering was what I was getting at.
Of course every one should chip in when one family member hosts but that's got to be fair, reasonable and logical, I really don't think expecting a family of 3 to pay $200 towards a Christmas meal is every logical (especially when that's most likely their groceries for a week or more).
Needs to be within reason and $200 for one meal is not. If it includes a cooked breakfast lunch and dinner then yes but again some people have a budget and $200 is a big ask.
I don't think you should argue over your child though as it does sound petty.
Sure... But $200? sorry... But that's excessive and I like gourmet Christmas puddings, turducken and fresh prawns. I wouldn't spend 200 on my family of 5 and there would be waaay too much food if I bought all that. 50 for 2 adults and a kid is frankly accounting for them to be gluttonous! Surely it's easier to say x... You buy prawns, y... You make dessert and k.... Snacks and salad. That's a feast and no one spends that much. Seriously... People need to chill out. And if this mum said she'd do her own thing due to cost, why cancel? Just buy slightly smaller portions. Or say 'we just want your company' and pad out the meal with snags etc.
Iv never been out to dinner and it cost anywhere near as much as whats been asked....200 is a fortnights worth of food for my family...
Why don’t you each bring food to share rather than hand over cash so that you all decide on how much you spend?
That's what I was thinking too
Jesus how neurotic are your family . For Christmas in my family there’s around 32-45 ppl . Each person beings ONE plate each of something. It’s not that hard . A list is formed from salads to meat to deserts to snacks to cheese platters , to cordial ( alcohol is separate) and everyone ticks their chosen plate to bring . No dramas, no hassles . And like any event there is ALWAYS left overs . I can’t believe people actually complain about food and can’t come together and bring one decent sized bowl each . It’s not like it all ever gets Eaten anyway .
Yeah this is one of those family bias things. Right or wrong (youre right) theyre going to agree that youre wrong. Just offer $150 as thats what they gave towards yours. Say 200 is out of your budget but you will stretch it because you want to come.
I don't even want to think how on earth it costs that much... Maybe you need to all agree to just bring one thing each in future.
I'll be feeding 7 people - 4 adults and 3 kids. My entire budget is $150 and I plan to have left overs for days! So $200 to me is straight up lunacy.
Give her an amount you feel is fair or offer to bring along some dishes.
Wow $200 is super exy 😬 I hope lobster is on the menu!
Sounds about right to me!
I’m hosting this year, bought Christmas crackers (cheap ones too!) - $12 for 6!!! Then paper plates, napkins, plastic cutlery and so on. That alone was $120 thanks to the Christmas crackers.
Then add food on top. We usually ask everyone to bring a plate of food. Prawns $150, ham leg $70. Everything adds up!
$200 is a bit steep for a Christmas meal, I'd also remind them how much they paid you the last 2 years.
The argument is not over having to pay for my son...my argument is how the hell do i get stuck paying 200 for a family of 3 and my sisters have a family of 5 and 6 one has 3 grown teenagers that eat like horses but they only have to pay the 200 aswell i tought the luxery of having a smaller family ment lower cost on things.....maybe i am the one in the wrong for questioning it 200 for one meal and snacks is higher than my fortnightly shop what do i do for the rest of the week.....
So your sisters budget is at least $600? For one meal? Mate, I am with you 100% on this one. That's extravagant to a whole new level!!
I have a family of 5, my groceries are $200 a week, that's 7 meals, 7 days of lunches and toiletries. I could never justify $200 of food in one sitting, nor would we eat $200 of food in one sitting.
I'd be inclined to take my own food and drinks.
Whenever I read these questions and the answers (I’m in cairns),I’m so jealous of all your low food bills. We have no Aldis plus being regional, our food costs 10 to 15 percent more. If you are in Cairns and it’s a seafood lunch, plus dinner, say bbq, I think it’s fair. If not and you’re in a capital city and your food bills are as low as the responders here, then it’s way too much.
I'm in the country. This is still excessive. I can put on food for my kid's birthday parties for about $400 including lollies, cakes, cookies, poppers, soft drinks, trifle, party pies, sausage rolls, dips, cheese, biccies, sausage sizzle with salads, spring rolls, puffy dogs and pizza for a class of 20-25 kids, the odd sibling that comes, their parents, and our mates for about $400. Surely with half a leg of lamb and some prawns the OP's sister could get everything else (including snacks and a selection of desserts) for their families for waaaaay less than $600!
You may pay more for groceries but I bet your rent would be way less than capital cities so it would balance out.
It's ridiculous but the precedent is set.
Offer $150 if you can swing it in the budget. I get it, every year I take $200 worth of prawns, 50 steaks and a leg ham to my inlaws. To help MiL out with the cost, I can and do because the rest of her kids provide nothing except an increasing number of mouths to feed. Yours at least are all pitching in.
Why not suggest next year about all providing the food in equal shares, all pitching in for decorating, cooking and cleaning? Cutting the food bill to say $30-40 per head instead of making it per family if one insists on not going the all in route.
I think Christmas makes everyone short tempered. Depends on how important the relationship is with your family, if it’s important maybe start a group chat and say the last thing you wanted was to cause massive drama, so can we work this out and everyone brings something? And byo alcohol? Someone brings a ham, another seafood, someone else does salads and rolls and desserts.... I don’t think it’s worth a family rift for but sounds like it was a tad extreme. If you don’t want to hang out with them have lunch at yours and don’t engage only you know what the short and long term effect will be
That is too much. We delegate: We’re going to my in laws. We have never been asked to pay. For example we’re bringing 12 crackers for the adults $80, 6 crackers for the kids $20, big homemade dessert (serves 8) costs about $15 in ingredients, prawns for everyone $40ish. The total we contribute is about $155. The other family members bring at least a main and a dessert. Everyone brings alcohol BYO.
These sort of disagreements can cause a divide in families for years. I would say I’m happy to bring a main dish and a dessert but not pay $200. That’s a lot for most families.
You’ve done it twice, why has the price gone up when it’s not at your house?!
I do know a family with the same sort of drama happened, they haven’t spoken in 10 years+ very sad.
Goodluck mama. Hope it all works out
I think $200 is excessive.
For my mum's side christmas celebrations, they have always split the cost of the seafood between the sisters (my aunties) but it all depends on who eats it.
So my mum would pay for about 6-7 of our family as the other 5 don't eat seafood. One Aunty pays for her whole family (11 people) as they all eat it. There are 3 other aunties in there to who pay for their family.
On top of that most adults (aunts/uncles/neices/nephews) all bring something as well.
I would tell your sister you are happy to contribute but only $100-$150 (or what you are comfortable spending) and remind her that she has contributes less than what she is asking in the past and you now find it rude she expect you to pay more.
Ultimately, if your family is being unreasonable then tell them that you are hurt that they are treating you like this when they have shown no consideration for you the last 2 years and you are going to celebrate with your own family.