My son has his year 6 graduation this week and I was planning on taking him shopping sometime to get something for him to wear. I was thinking a nice shirt and pants from City Beach.
When he got dropped off back at my house yesterday (dad and I are separated), his dad got out this outfit that my ex mother in law bought him last week. Don't get me wrong, it looks lovely, but it doesnt seem suited for an 11 year old boy.
Luckily my son doesn't really care what he wears, but this outfit looks like he's going for a job interview. Long dress pants, short sleeve business button up shirt and even business shoes to go with it.
I'm just worried he will get teased 😥 I know he will look lovely but I honestly think it's a bit old for his age.
Would you be annoyed that your ex mil bought your childs graduation outfit without consulting you first? And would it be horrible to change what he wears, or just suck it up? I'm not being nasty as all, I really appreciated her buying something, I just wish I had some input since I am his mum! Even his dad agreed it's a bit 'old'.
What would you do?
Son's Year 6 graduation outfit a bit 'old' looking!
Son's Year 6 graduation outfit a bit 'old' looking!
Posted in:
Kids
20 Replies
Honestly. I’d buy new clothes.
Get a photo for MIL In her clothes, then get him to change. Tell MIL he felt more comfortable in the other clothes.
Nice gesture of mother in law but she should of really asked first instead of assuming.
Just get him differnet clothes. She doesnt have to know.
Unfortunately she is attending the ceremony so she will know 😥
Just give her back the clothes before the ceremony and explain you already had something on layby that suits him better, hopefully she still has the receipt and can get a refund.
I'd let him wear it or if it bothers him get him something else. Maybe mix it up so you can spend more money on shoes or a top that he will wear daily.
I wouldn't be pissed off, however maybe try and incorporate it some how. The shirt could totally pass, maybe get some chino shorts and runners to go with it to look "cool". You could say it was too hot for the pants and the shoes just were too similar to school shoes. Offer for them to be returned :)
I'd put him in the pants and shoes, then get him a nice button up casual shirt.
Honesty is the best policy I think, just tell her while you appreciate her going to the trouble you think it might be a tad too formal for a primary school leavers celebration.
Thinking back on my own though, there was such a wide variety I don't think he'll stick out. I mean, we had 12 year old girls in platform heels and mini dresses, girls in floral dresses a 5 year old would wear, girls in a dressy shirt and jeans, some literally in formal gowns. Some boys turned up with their Wutang Clan track suits on 😂,some boys were in full suits, some boys rocked up with their boardies and dirty old sneakers on lol.
Ask your son what he'd rather and just go from there.
But your son something else. Then sit the two options in front of him and get him to pick.
If he doesn’t pick your MIL’s outfit, tell her or get him to tell her, he didn’t feel comfortable in it and that he will save it for another special occasion
Most the boys at my daughters graduation last year were dressed like that.
That's good to know. I was just a bit worried, but my boy is happy. So thats all that matters. I just wish I had some input
Honestly, I see no issue with her buying something. But if I'd already bought something I'd let my child choose. In this case, your son doesn't care. So let him wear it?
I just wish she had involved me, or asked my opinion, that's all
Totally understand that. But I guess sometimes separated families are hard to navigate as their are lots of parties that feel like they are missing out and try to do something special. I'm a sewer so I would feel pressured to put them in the outfit but be disappointed because I would have spent about 10 hours making something special after months of looking at fabrics with my kids or searching for something they specifically wanted. But in this case, you didn't have something super special planned /already bought and he's happy with it so let her have this something special. I imagine he won't be the only kid dressed in something formal. Just remember to let your ex know buying outfits for special events like semi formals/formals etc is a mum/son moment in advance so that you don't the issue in the future for bigger events.
He’s happy, just let him wear it.
If he is happy to wear it then let him. Get him to try it all on and see how he feels. He may or may not change his mind once he has it on.
As for the ex MIL buying it without asking if you have anything. I would be annoyed.
Yes she is his grandmother BUT you are his mother and my own personal opinion is, grandparents have had the joy of organising for their own kids graduations and special moments and they shouldn't try to step in for their grandkids special moments and taking that away from the parents without talking to the parents first.
If you are on good terms with yous son's dad, try talking to him about it and say that while you can see the kindness in her actions, as this is a special occassion you had wanted to get him something so please try to get your mum to understand all you ask is for her to talk to you first, you're not saying she can't be included but you should have been involved (and also his dad, if he wants to have input with clothing choices, etc).
And depending on the situation, I would find a good time to say it to your ex mil too.
My circumstance I am not on good terms with my ex and only pleasantries with his parents otherwise we have nothing to do with each other. However I have not had this sort of issue come up.
We are all on good terms, ex mil and ex husband and I. All I wanted was to be involved, it's a pretty big event and I was looking forward to having an afternoon with him looking for an outfit. I stupidly just read some of the comments on the FB page and I swear some morons don't even read the whole post and assume things that aren't true. Unfortunately I can't back myself up and be anon on there, so it's very hurtful. Probably the last question I ask Imperfect Mums!
Let him choose. It’s his day. Both my children have very different styles and I let them decide for special events within reason.
Is your son happy with it?
That would be the ONLY reason to change anything about the outfit.
He was fine with it. There was no malice intended, I just wanted to be involved as my son's mother. I wanted to take him shopping myself and let HIM choose