I'm frustrated and don't know what to do.
Over the past few weeks money has slowly been disappearing from my wallet. I don't normally carry money so when I do have it, I notice it gone. Sometimes it's only been a few gold coins here and there but lately it's been $50 notes. I had about $200 in there and noticed it dwindling but yesterday was the clincher when I put $60 in there, a $50 note, a $5 note and $5 in ones. All gone.
Hubby and my two teenage daughters all swear black and blue it's not them but I don't know which one is telling the lie.
I'm freaking out cos this isn't normal behavior from any of them.
How do I handle this???
20 Replies
Hubby would be my first thought because mine is always raiding my purse! Its not really stealing with us though because we share money. If it definitely wasn't hubby I would look at the girls a bit closer, any of them more social than the other?? Drinking? Drugs? I don't mean to scare you but thats what I was trying to scrounge money for when I was a teenager, alcohol and a foil every weekend 😂
I had thousands of dollars go missing over the space 2-3 yrs from my purse and home safe . Everyone in my family household denied it was them . Until one day the local corner store told me my teenage son had been in there spending $100 notes . I used to keep those in the safe before banking . Then a feral family a few blocks away dobbed him in him to me one day saying he’d rock up there with 100 dollar notes buying countless sticks of marijuana. He was also giving hundreds of dollars to his ‘mates’ . Not only that but personal items were going missing from my home . He was stealing them and selling them . I confronted him about my money and belongings and he continuously lied to my face. I couldn’t take it anymore so I called the cops and had him thrown out that day . I haven’t seen him since and I never want to . These days he’s a meth addict still stealing off people . I ran a home business and my takings were disappearing fast ( this was over a decade ago ) . I was almost sent bankrupt because of that theiving lying bastard and the best thing I ever did was disown him . It almost destroyed my marriage too . We almost lost our home. My business , our car , everything because of him . We had to start again from scratch .
It’ll get worse if it continues, please get onto it NOW .
Do not take this lightly . Set up hidden cameras where your purse is . I promise you’ll catch who’s done it in no time .
Have you tried to get your son help? Get him into rehab? He may be a drug addict but he's still your son...
Yes . When he was 12 and 13 years old he was seeing a psych . They couldn’t help him . He’d just lie to their faces about anything. And rehab ? He’s 30 years old now his wife can do it he’s her responsibility now . He’s a murderer . He can stay right away from me he’s a danger to people and deserves to stay in jail where he currently is . Son or not I don’t give a flying shit. He’s the devil and no one else in the fam have anything to do with him either , not his dad , not his siblings , not his grandparents. No one . And why should we ? He was born a psychopath and should stay the hell away from people . Especially women , children and animals . Would you have a violent killing drug addict son around you and your family? I doubt it .
I appreciate you suggesting your ideas , but it runs deeper than that xx
Ok. If you had mentioned that in your original comment my comment would have been very different.
I see you did the right thing.
Yeah that's alot of big info you left out there...
Regardless of what she left out it was no one's place to add comment. None of you added anything relevant to the OPs question, you were all just trying to make this lady feel bad. Shame on you!
Check their drawers and inside socks. A nephew stole $7k over a period of time! Hid it inside a pair of socks
Honestly, the distrustful side of me could see reason all of them would steal from you.
The kids - cigarettes, drugs, alcohol, other shit they want you may have said no to.
Husband - drugs, alcohol, gambling, a sense of entitlement to take it for whatever reason.
Personally, without more information I'd suspect the kids. I mean, my partner and I share our money, if he wanted to take $60 out of my purse, he'd say "Can I use this $60? I need it for X, Y, Z". He wouldn't take it and not mention it to me, he certainly wouldn't take it and then swear he didn't!
I'd firstly give them all one last chance to own up to it, promising to not get mad.
If they still all proclaim their innocence I would not let this drop til someone owns up (don't keep cash on you for the time being), I would tell them all I'd be looking through their personal belongings to look for it (or evidence of it being spent - new clothes, make up, rubbish etc). I'd have a really good, private convo with hubby, ask him to be straight with you if he took it, because if he genuinely didn't you guy's have a problem on your hands with at least one of your kids and I'd like to think no decent father would let his kid go down for some thing he did.
**obviously before going in guns blazing, be sure that you definitely didn't spend it or put it somewhere else**
Use your intuition too, I'm pretty perceptive and have a memory like an elephant so I am pretty good at sniffing out a liar, im guessing you'd have your suspicions too.
Most importantly, keep an eye out for out of character behaviour, that's going to be a good indicator of your culprit.
Yes, love this! And if it does turn out to be one of your kids, go gently on them, help them if they need it. You don't want to end up like the previous poster who ended up booting out her drug-addict son because he stole thousands off her.
Yes definitely!
Yes that comment distressed me also as it doesn’t seem she tried to help him at all :/
You know NOTHING to suggest that son wasn’t helped at all . How dare you . Read the comment added to it
I'm sure there was a lot more to the story than what she could fit! My brother is an addict too and my Mum had no choice but to kick him out. She is a pensioner and can't afford to have her money going to the local dealers or her possessions going to the hock shop! She almost lost her house over it and if it weren't for her other kids helping her she would have. Nobody should have to pay for someone elses drug habit and if that means kicking them out then so be it! Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to realise you have a problem.
There was a lot more to the story I see that now. The first comment made it sound as though she kicked him out as a first resort. People can't give a tiny part of the story and leave the most important stuff out and expect us to comment with accurate understanding.
My post was only the conclusion ( about my son I was the one who posted that) it wasn’t the full hype, but the beginning was when he started stealing money , that’s where it all began , so that’s why I feel so passionately about the OP’s post because if it is one of her children I just pray to god that it’s not the start of anything similar to what my family and I endured, especially since she’s been asking her family about missing money and she’s being lied to already . It’s heartbreakingly close to home for me, I just hope in her case it’s a phase but it needs to be taken very seriously. I think installing a hidden camera by her purse will be a fabulous idea.
You made a very unfair assumption! People don’t have to spoon feed you their whole story! You can choose to embellish of you can choose to be kind. Instead of assuming the worst assume the best!
People don't have to tell 100% of the story no. But leaving out the massive important bit will change people's comments from helpful to unhelpful as they don't have the correct information. There's a big difference between someone who stole money for weed who got kicked out of home compared to being a full on murderer who is in jail and is a danger to society and that's why he is not welcome back. The latter of which we didn't have the information to in the first comment. It's not really fair on us to assume that her son is a murderer and we should have commented as such that she made the right decision before she stated that in the second comment.
This exact thing happened in our household, my sister and I were teenagers, it turned out to be my older sisters boyfriend. As he went past to my sisters room he used to grab money from my mums purse. Think outside the box, good luck xxxx
That's a very good point actually, when I was a teenager I had friends over all the time. It wouldn't have even occurred to us that they'd steal stuff. Turned out one of them had been periodically stealing my mums jewellry, she had so much it wasn't instantly noticeable and she was always a bit careless with her jewellery (she'd leave it on the bathroom cabinet or kitchen table - which you should be able to do in your own home).
We finally figured it out when an expensive pair of diamond earrings disappeared and so did this particular friend...