Advice please...
So my ex made my life a living hell for years. I'm talking physical, psychological, emotional and financial abuse. I finally found the courage to leave and have spent the last 4 years dealing with the scars from that relationship, in this time he has still been abusive. I have had one very brief relationship that didn't work out, while I'm hurt, i know it's for the best.
Now my ex is seeing someone new and apparently it's love and he wants her to meet the kid's. I know it's silly but I can help but feel a little jealous. He treated me so poorly and now he gets to be happy.
I know I just have to ride through this faze and I know that I should be focusing on myself and everything I have achieved in the 4 years since we seperated. Am I normal for feeling like this? What can I do to move past this? This isn't me.
3 Replies
It won't be long before he is treating her the exact same way he treated you. I went through this with my ex. They put on a happy front and I thought why the hell couldn't you treat me like that? But then I remembered thats how he and I would have looked to the outside world! I was friends with their neighbour and learnt she was getting screamed at and kicked out of the house every day. A leopard doesn't change its spots. Don't bother warning her cos they dont believe you.
Why does he get to be happy?
You know what, I don't think abusive men ever achieve true happiness, it's probably half the reason why they're abusive to begin with.
Jealousy is a normal emotion, I think in time though that jealousy will turn into something else. You'll look at him and not feel hurt, anger, betrayal and resentment. You'll look at him and see nothing but pitty!
You know why? Because you will heal, you will find peace, you'll move on and find happiness!
He, on the other hand has to live with what he did to you (and what he'll inevitably do to the next women in his life), he might hide that fact well but there will always be a nagging reminder in the back of his head - tormenting him until the end of his days!
You'll be ok sweetheart and well done on getting this far!
I don’t think it’s jealous, it’s the abuse that has made you feel this way. Use to this time he has with the kids to have you time and take care of yourself. Find yourself and your happiness and you will find some when the time is right. This relationship with her probably won’t last or she will be living he same hell as you once were. Just focus on your kids and your freedom that you know have.he gets to be happy coz he obviously has no feelings. You will find true happiness when the time is right. This woman will be gone out of his life before you know it.