Im just going to get right to it. My almost 8 year old is lazy and and careless and it's driving me nuts!
Some examples from the last week alone:
Leaves her drink bottle, jumper, etc at school every afternoon (has also lost more hat's and jumpers out of all 3 of my kids combined).
Deliberately left her library and home reader books at home so she didn't have to carry them.
Left her library book on living room floor, when asked to put it away she kicked it under the couch thinking I wouldn't notice.
Kicks her shoes off and leaves them wherever she took them off (usually where my husband comes in the front door and trips over them).
She puts on a jacket, takes it off outside, leaves it under the trampoline then gets a fresh one when she gets cold again (I literally found 6 wet jumpers the other day and about 10 socks).
She spills food and drinks on kitchen floor and just leaves it, I nearly broke my neck slipping on spilt water the other day.
Food wrappings get chucked on the floor.
Just generally leaves a trail of crap wherever she goes.
Shoves dirty clothes and toys food, you name it, all under her bed.
Messes up the entire room then leaves it for her sister to clean.
I could go on and on about the laziness but I think you get the idea...
The carelessness.
It's almost borderline destructive, she doesn't break or ruin things intentionally but that's the usual out come because she just doesn't respect things!
Some examples:
She's ruined so much bedding from texta and ink etc even after being told a million times not to use them in her room.
Library books and home readers often get ripped because she leaves them stuffed at the bottom of her bag.
She'll put her knees inside her shirts/dresses to stretch them out so they end up looking like a potato sack.
She will wipe her sticky hands over her clothes or my couch instead of wiping them with a cloth.
She has broken almost every knick knack I've owned because she's touched them after being told not to.
She also shares a room with her older sister, unfortunately there's no other possible sleeping arrangement.
She is constantly into her sisters art and craft stuff, her make up, jewelery and perfume etc ultimately ruining or losing it. Just yesterday she used an entire brand new lip balm ball thingy that my older daughter just got for her birthday.
Again, this is just scratching the surface...
These are all issues at school too, every teacher she's had has said - she's a sweet, kind, lovely girl but she doesn't contribute when it comes to classroom clean ups, doesn't look after school or her own property well. Her kindy teacher even said she was like a little tornado (literally her teachers precise words) messing things up but completely unwilling to pack up after herself.
I don't and never have allowed her to get away with this either. I feel like I am always on her ass about it, she is always punished when she wrecks her/her sisters stuff.
I have tried punishment and confiscating her favourite belongings/screen time, taking away treats like parties etc, that has a slight effect until said punishment is lifted then she's back to her old ways.
I make sure she experiences the natural consequences - ie, I won't deliver forgotten items to school, I make her go to school cold in hopes it will remind her to bring her jumper home, I made her do the remainder of last term without a hat because she'd lost so many (this meant she had to stay in the shaded area with no play equptment/friends to play with).
I have tried visual organisation and cleaning charts, she knows how to pick up after herself, basic cleanliness and how to look after her stuff, she just won't do it!
It's not a learned behaviour either because none of us (my other 2 kids included) are not setting this standard!
I am at a loss and I'm tired of it being and every day fight!
Just to add, there's no behavioural ASD/learning disabilities or anything.
Sorry, I know this is long so well done if you made it through lol, I am just so over it
8 Replies
I bet she is very artistic. Not helpful sorry, but every 'tornado' I know is very talented at something, usually art! I would take her back to the Dr for a referral, just in case there's something going on. Lack of organisation skills could be a sign of something much bigger than the picture you're seeing now.
I have an ADHD child who is so much like yours. Some of the same strategies we use could help. Routine and structured tasks are the key to functioning in our household. We have visual charts with everything broken down into single steps as more than that one-step instructions becomes overwhelming. If he’s cleaning his room he’s given a task list to tick off as he goes, breaking it down into smaller steps. Morning and afternoon routines are written on the wall and he has a list of what to pack in his bag. Liaising with teachers can also help as they can assist with increasing structure in the classroom and providing visuals and checklists at school, such as what goes in her bag at the end of the day.
Sounds like my inattentive ADHD daughter. Take a look at girls and ADHD on Additide or How to ADHD on fb and see what you think.
I would try the list idea thats was suggested, ticking off each item as it goes. Have you looked into arty classes for her? Like painting, clay modeling, sewing, even something like Girl Guides would help her.
And I would suggest a punishment for not doing it could be missing out on something she really likes (perhaps one of the arty classes if she joins one?)
My 6 year old step daughter is like this. She has a lot of issues (her mother died when she was nearly 3). Most of what she does is attention seeking, she doesn’t care if she gets good or bad attention. One thing that worked was simplifying everything she owns, she has 1 of everything now. Once it’s gone that’s it. She also has hardly any stuff, you might need to get hard with her and take non essential things away until she has earned them back
Spend more time with her. Do the things together. Remind her to get her water bottle, jumper, lunchbox, hat. Physically check it. Wait until its done before moving on.
Maybe as shes 3rd your expectations are too high and support is lower? So she just hears nagging. Just because a child physically can do tasks doesnt mean they can actually do it independently, if they can't, increase the support and routine until they can.
I would get her referred to a child psychologist. Sometimes there is underlying issues that we don’t realise.we never know what is going on in their little minds. It may be her way of dealing with things.it couldn’t be something simple. Kids just don’t know how to express it. Anything is worth a try.
Sorry that was meant to say could be something simple. Child psychologist may even be able to help you in dealing with it. It helped me so much taking my son to one.