Hi,
My good friend met a new man on Tinder on the weekend and they're already official. It's my daughter's party on Saturday and she sent me a message saying that he would like to come along too and he loves kids so really wants to meet my daughter.
I'm feeling a bit awkward, no one else has met this man before, the only photos we have seen are from his Tinder profile and I feel quite stuck. I don't want to be a bitch and cause a scene of no he can't come, but there's going to be a lot of other little kids at her party and this is a random man that we (including her!) know next to nothing about.
Is it wrong of me to say that I want to keep the party with close family and friends and would prefer him not to attend?
17 Replies
Not at all! It's neither the time or place to be meeting new boyfriends, keeping it a friends and family event is not unreasonable.
If she's a real friend she'll completely understand!
You are totally in the right.
It’s totally inappropriate that she wants to bring him to the party. It’s not the time or the place for it.
I find it really creepy that anyone either male/female would be that keen to come to a child’s birthday party under those circumstances.
IKR?!? We do anything to avoid going to our own kids’ parties 🤣
Yes weird! How does someone go from Tinder hook up on the weekend to, 'Hey come to my friends kids birthday party' a few days later. I would be saying no and don't feel bad about it. She's the one out of line here.
Haha nope! You're the adult and voice of reason and safety for your kids. This is a no brainer. Reply 'I'm happy for you but he has no reason to meet my daughter just yet and I wouldn't be comfortable with him being at our party. Next year for sure!'
I actually doubt this guy has said "Oh I really want to come to your friends kids birthday party".
It's more likely that your friend has asked the new boyfriend to come along and he's begrudgingly agreed and now your friend is talking him up by saying he's great with kids and really wants to come blah, blah, blah...
Either way, it's not appropriate for him to come so don't feel bad for saying no (in fact, this guy will probably thank you for it lol)!
I have said no! To my sister. And I don’t regret it as they broke up 3 days later 😏
Is it a kids party for 2 hours with awkward parents and pass the parsel or adults hanging out too? If it adults hanging out too I have no issue with her wanting you to meet her new man. Aren't kids at every event?
This isn't just any event though, it's the OPs daughter's birthday party.
There is absolutely no need for some tinder shag to be at a kids birthday party. I would be uncomfortable knowing there's some guy at a party my kids were invited to that the family of the birthday kid didn't even know properly.
Thanks everyone for the responses - I do think it'd be her saying come with me and then using that as an excuse when asking. He's a bit of an older guy too, which shouldn't concern me but it does - just being around young kids without knowing him.
It is adults hanging out too as it's a first birthday, but her whole family will be there too so I feel like it'd be a bit silly for him to come and then introduce him at the same time. Plus, in the nicest way possible - I want it to be all about my daughter that day and not having awkward chit chat with a random man and be on edge lol. I feel like if he even held her I would be livid. I think that is my answer.. just how to word it?
"I'd love to meet your new boyfriend, I'm just going to be so busy organising everything for bub and socialising with family, I just don't feel like it'll be the most ideal time to be meeting new people. So It would just be easier on me if you come on your own, why don't we catch up for coffee some time next week so I can meet this new man?"
As I said above, if she's a good friend she'll happily oblige and completely understand where you're coming from.
If she really pushes the issue you might have to get blunt "Look, I just don't want strangers at my baby's party. Simple" and she can do with that as she pleases...
I'm not comfortable inviting him to my daughter's birthday party. Let's have a barbecue on x day and all hang out then.
This!
You are completely in your rights to say no! Just say "I'd rather he didn't come along as my daughters party is really just for close friends and family, but we will catch up in a couple of days and have a coffee and meet your new boyfriend".
God knows who he is anyway! Lol she doesnt even really know him yet!
If she's a good friend she will understand you saying no, just say something like
I'd really like to meet him, but I really don't want to do it at ******* party maybe we can meet up for coffee later in the week. If she gets all antsy she's really not that great a mate.
Wierd. Nope. Not invited. No way. Not being a bitch. Just utilizing a healthy dose of precaution there mumma
No it’s not wrong, there’s always other opportunities. The fact that you’re asking tells that you don’t feel right about it. It’s your event it’s not about them meeting or having somewhere to go ect. Tell your friend you understand if she doesn’t come because she would prefer to do something with him but give her that option. You’ve got to go with your gut instincts first!