Trial Seperation help

I need help and I’m not sure where to turn.

I think I am at the end of my marriage. Today is our anniversary and I feel nothing. We have been through so much in the time we have been together (too much to explain here) and we have had many good times, but the good is getting further and further apart. I will start that my husband loves our kids, he is a good man but has issues that he will not deal with and it has gone too far now.
He is angry, loses his temper quickly over nothing or something insignificant, he is lazy, won’t help me around the house or with the kids unless I say something and then he complains about it, all he wants to do is sit on the xbox or watch Netflix. Dishes are left unless I do it, rubbish isn’t taken out unless I do it. If I have had a hard night with our baby and ask for help he complains about it and then complains all day that he is tired. He will go for a lay down at 3pm/4pm because he is tired, leaving me to deal with 2 kids, dinner, baths, etc then have the audacity to complain about dinner/kids/being tired, etc. He is depressed, but wont do anything about it. All he does is complain but he wont do anything to change it.
I want to tell him I want a trial separation, where there are conditions that he must complete before getting back together. Like anger management, getting help for his mental/physical health, not being so lazy, and so forth… how do I do this without sounding like a controlling b*tch? I have things that I will work on too, I am not perfect and don’t pretend to be. But this is affecting our kids, especially our oldest, and I can’t allow it to continue. I love this man, I don’t want to leave but I cant live like this anymore.