Howdy sisters..Would you put up with a partner who spends all her time in bed? Only getting up to go to work or eat? Dealbreaker? This has gone on for decades. I'm lonely. What should i do?
Howdy sisters..Would you put up with a partner who spends all her time in bed? Only getting up to go to work or eat? Dealbreaker? This has gone on for decades. I'm lonely. What should i do?
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7 Replies
If its lifestyle then yes dealbreaker what a waste of life. If its mental health and theyre working on it, ok. If theyre a home body and theres a bit of compromise to join you for your activities sometimes then it could work.
Is she depressed?
Sounds like untreated mental illness to be honest. Puts on a face during the day at work, exhausted by the end of it.
My sister in law is married to a man with severe mental health illness. He doesn't leave the house at all. She decided to start living her life again and does things during the week after work and on weekends. She takes overseas trip and weekends away with friends. And she makes time to just be at home with him and bond/relax in between. Instead of being dead weight he's become her rock... The eye of the storm in her crazy life. And it works.... Really well. But it was about her not trying to change him and instead, taking back ownership of her own happiness.
I do this and have done for many years . My husband takes it on the chin . I work less hours than him but I earn a lot more than him . I cook , clean and do the school run for two teenage kids aged 13 and 18 , which leaves me long hours at a time for my own leisure, often only coming out to eat or go to work as well . My haven is my bedroom - it’s like my lounge room . I can and do very easily spend all my free time there . I have my tv and computer in my room , and all mY books . I’m simply a homebody and far from lazy . Often, I’ll spend all weekend in my bedroom quiet happpily chilling out . Maybe she’s just a homebody too and prefers her own company and quiet time ? I’m uncomplicated and simple . Why should it be a dealbreaker ? Would you say the same thing if she spent all her time in the garden or the kitchen or the lounge room ? Unless of course there’s something more serious to it, otherwise there’s no reason why you should end things .
I go into my room to read and relax four kids and four dogs scattered everywhere else.
I can have a day or two where you just need too.
If you are unable to get help around the house or go out and enjoy yourself because of it then yes.. just say look occasionally I would like to go out to dinner and see what happens.
Are you excluded when she is in there? Is she not communicating with you at all?
What is the reason behind this "lifestyle"?
CFS? Mental Health?
I could easily stay in bed all day due to my "invisible illnesses" and anyone who doesnt accept them would perceive it at laziness.