Hi there.
Today as I walked home with my daughter from the bus, we have to walk by a playground. Its a nature park/playground with equipment and lots of bushes and long grassy type plants.
As we walked past we could see 3-4 kids playing at the back of the park in the bushes and could vaguely see 2 adults sitting at a picnic table. One of the kids was screaming. Not squealing or shouting but blood curdling I'm being killed screaming. I made a comment to my daughter about how it sounded so loud and carried on walking, We live 3 houses and a road away from the park.
Inside even with the windows shut we could still hear him screaming. Thats it I said I've had enough. Went the park but now the kids are on my side of the park near the road and hes still periodically screaming. I very politely said to the kids how loud it was and could they stop it.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw someone get up from the table walk a few steps and yell over to me "It's ok hes alright" I said back how loud it was and I was concerned that he was ok because the way it sounded. She just said hes ok. So I walked off and could hear her say to her friend that some ppl should mind their fkn business. I felt like going over and saying you should be fkn thankful someone gave a shit to see if everyone was ok. I don't see how you can just ignore the fact that you let your kid scream for at least 15mins and think no one would be bothered by it. There's nothing wrong with general playground sounds but this was too much.
15 Replies
Her child could have autism and that could be his stim. I have regularly told people my child is ok instead of saying he has Autism he can't help it. Sometimes I do wish people would mind their own business. You never know what is going on. Unless the kid is being beaten by the other kids and screaming if his mum isn't worried you probably shouldn't be.
Sounds like this child has a disability and nothing is going to stop it. Hence they let you know he was fine. But then you didn't leave it alone even though they were telling you to leave it. They don't need to give you the child's medical history. He's not yours.
You commented on his volume walking past. Once home you said 'I've had enough' and went back to the park because of the volume. You then approached the kids and told them to be quiet. At no point in there did you say that you were concerned for the child's wellbeing and that you returned to the park because you were concerned and asked the child if he was OK. So when the parent tells you the child is OK and you then claim to be concerned for him she called you out to her friend, not you. I don't think you can get indignant that you were concerned for the child when you then comment about how the noise was a bother to you again.
I think there's a very fine line between when you need to intervene in these scenarios and when you do need to mind your business, which can be hard to differentiate, but it does seem like this instance you may have got it wrong.
You meant well, I think (after re reading I'm not entirely sure you did but anyway, I'm going to assume there was some concern not just irritation at the noise level), you said you mentioned to them the loudness of the scream? Perhaps they took at as a complaint rather than a concern? Perhaps this is a mum that deals with stares and comments everywhere she goes, maybe on this one occasion she just wanted everyone to leave her be and you were the one to wear her frustration?!
I think it's quite likely this child has some special needs, in hindsight I think you may realise this too.
We live and learn though, don't we!
Maybe if you encounter this agian, once you ascertain that the child isn't being kidnapped, in danger or being harmed in any way that you can tell, maybe it's best to just go on your way and give a sympathetic and friendly smile.
There's a special needs support school right near our house - what you've described is a common occurrence here! I think you may not realise that sometimes people (particularly kids) with special needs, sometimes just need to scream and there's nothing anyone can do to stop that occuring.
From her perspective, the child may have a disability and she felt judged. It might be his way of communication so to her that is normal and it is why she didn’t do anything about it.
Possibly also your approach to the children may have been a bit abrupt saying it’s loud. Maybe you could have asked if he is okay first off :)
Good on you for caring enough but it seems like you did it because it was annoying more than being worried
My friends daughter has Tourette’s. She uncontrollably screams, swears and other things. The stares and comments from strangers just add to the daughters discomfort, because the daughter doesn’t like swearing and screaming but can’t stop it.
Yes he probably has a disability and she takes him out to the park to dilute it, she probably feels outside in apark is a safe place where kids can be noisy, as opposed to shopping centres, cinemas, indoor place centres and it probably drives her nuts in the home and then you came along.....proving her wrong, that he can’t scream in a playground either! You weren’t concerned about him, you saw he was fine, you were concerned about the noise level. Mothers lifting up mothers....you could have said something like, geez, I thought mine were loud, you poor thing, at least he can scream his lungs out at the playground! Insight, perception, empathy.....think before you act.
If he wasn't bleeding and wasn't getting beaten up or abused etc I would have just left it. He could have ASD or just needed to scream some frustrations out. I don't blame the mums reaction.
My son has autism and has a blood curdling scream when he gets really going. I would have told you to mind your own fking business straight up rather than saying it to my friend, you sound mega judgemental, not like a concerned citizen.
So you live near a park and complain about kids 😂😂😂
The kid might have a learning disability and his way of communication is screaming.
His Mum might take him to parks so he can scream and not be judged
I don’t think you were concerned about his well-being I think you was being a judgemental and rude person
Im not sure you can tell strangers children to shut up ?! As much as we want to sometimes...
He may have a need to do it, he may have been spoilt or noisy, Im not sure you even have a right to ask because it doesnt matter as per my first sentence. Afternoon noise is fair game. Early morning or late night you could complain or ask politely.
If you were so worried you should have called the police and had a welfare check done on the child. Instead of bitching about it.
I can understand your concerns, but it probably would have been better to approach the adults first. And to me, the adults were quite restrained with how the let you know the child was ok. If a strange approached my child in a playground, I wouldn't be yeling out an answer, I'd be running be running at you say "Get away from my child!!"
Please don't judge someone until you know their story.
I live by a park and it is unbelievable the amount of screaming kids do and their parent's don't do anything about it! It's across the street from my house and about 15 feet higher than my house(it was woods when I grew up and my family fought like hell for the park to not be put in), so when they scream for 30 minutes straight it comes right down into my yard and the parent's just stand there staring at my house. True story and it happens over and over and over. They are creating the kids nobody wants to be around because they scream all the time. I could tell you stories for days about entitled parent's at the park lol
Thank you so much for this article. I'm tired of people saying they are just kids it's fine. It's a learned behavior and if the parents like it so much then let them scream in their house lol