My 5 year old son can be a terror, but I also know that he is super sensitive and has a wonderful caring nature. He is also ahead of his peers academically. He is starting school next year and I think he'll be picked on... Eg, at day care he actually prefers the company of the educators over the kids. It's things like that, which has me worried. The husband thinks we should put him into boxing, so he can defend himself, which I don't agree with.
Is it possible to get through school unscathed when you're the caring, sensitive, smart kid?
10 Replies
I think being sensitive, caring and smart are positive, not negative traits and not always equate to being bullied.
They can be harnessed into being a great leader and role model and helper for his peers. Someone others admire and look up to.
Whats important though is not to declare his academic strengths as superior and all that matters.
It sounds like he may be below average in peer socialisation skills and communication skills (remembering its two way and he can learn something from everybody). Academics isnt everything. Friendships, problem solving, kindness, bravery, persistence, resilience, these are all very important qualities that also need development just as much as academics. Being well rounded will help him fit into his class and find his place.
I couldn't have worded this any better
I don't think it matters what kid you are, you'll never go through school unscathed so to speak.
There's always going to be someone who will try to bring you down for whatever reason. I'd work on teaching resilience and focusing on his positive qualities and letting him know how great he is.
Don’t let the fact he is sensitive and caring fear you that he will get bullied. Bullies are bullies, and they’ll go for anyone who is an easy target. As much as I feel like we need to stop “bullying”, I feel like we also need to educate our kids about being bullied. Start teaching him, read books about bullying (there are so many and I’ve already started readying my 4yo them) and talking through with him about it. My 4yo sees bullying on cartoons now and points it out to me and we have a talk about it. I think so long as you make them aware and it’s an open discussion in the house.. if it ever happens to him, I hope he will come to me and talk about it so I can help him and speak to the school ect.
I feel like you may be over thinking things a bit. Cross this bridge if/when you get to it.
Teach him and model resilience in the meantime, as well as nurturing and encouraging his social skills.
I don't think teaching him how to fight (the boxing) will have much of a positive effect to be honest, maybe karate or some kind of martial art would be better, it may even be an avenue for new friendships.
My little boy started school this year. He is bright, caring and sensitive. Well, he is absolutely thriving at school. Don't focus on negatives or make your son out to be a victim. Start on resilience and focus on positives. Grow his confidence and inner strength.
We did enrol our boy into karate but at it's about respect, work ethic and discipline.
Aside from intellectually above his peers (he is quite bright, but wouldn’t describe him like that), my son is exactly the same, even preferring educators at that age, still has a great rapport with the adults in his life, I think it is due to his maturity levels. He is ten now and has never been bullied at school. He has a few very close friends, not a million friends, I think you are over thinking it.
Our boy looks very boy and robust.
I have seen other kids single him out, other parents pigeon hole him in that rough tumble kid.
But to those who know him...he is a caring beautiful boy, who is not into boy type things at all. He likes dancing and would love to be an Actor.
He is not academic at all, I fact he does 4hrs a week tutor.
He isn't bullied, but he also doesn't give them a chance.
He has done martial arts for 3 years.
This has given him confidence not take their rubbish.
Best thing ever!
My son has done Muay Thai Kick boxing and Jui Jitsu since he was 4 (he’s 8 now) and it has given a lot of confidence within himself and it also helped him to gain social skills with other children. He took a little longer to socialise with other children before starting martial arts too. My son is still more of a reserved kid but has taken so many skills from martial arts, not only could he defend himself physically but he is able to avoid conflict with other children and brush off bullying without it really upsetting him. I think boxing would be a positive choice for your son. I think your son will be ok :)
My advice is to put him in a big school. It seems counterintuitive but there are far more ‘social options’ in larger schools. If he has a large cohort there is a pretty good chance he’ll find at least one other person he clicks with. Good luck.