TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️
• child sex offences, rape, family violence
My (now) ex husband was arrested and convicted of child sex offences (including rape) relating to my daughter (his step daughter) recently. The sentence was laughable when you put into context the lifetime of consequences for his actions. The offending occurred for 5 years beginning when she was 9.
We have two other children together who haven’t seen or heard from their father for almost two years, they are 4 and 6 now. We have a DVO listing all the children on it which includes non-approach and non-contact (unless it is decided through a family court that he should see them) due to the parallel issue of family violence.
We are quickly approaching release date and I would like to know if others have had any experience with custody matters in this situation. My instinct tells me that he should not be allowed contact with any children, including his own, however I am terrified that he will try to see them. What are the chances of this happening?
Also, he is an Australian citizen although there is legislation relating to ‘serious offences’ committed before citizenship was granted that indicate he may have his citizenship revoked due to the nature of the offences. I would love to know if there has been a precedence of revocation in similar circumstances.
My children only know that their dad is spending having a sort of ‘time out’ as he made some wrong choices, my 6 year old wants to know if they will see their dad again. I find it difficult to answer the questions honestly, as I just have no idea. And thus no idea what to tell them. I would be most appreciative of any experiences in the community. Thank you.
7 Replies
Personally no, I don’t believe they should. On this one you definitely need a professionals advice though.
I thibk you need to go and see bravelhearts and also dcs and a lawyer. I know its overkill and expebsive but honestly you have two little kids who you need to prepare and answer questions and you have your older daughter who you will also need to let know what is happening and give notice.
I do know of the rule about having visa cancelled and being deported. I know of a person it has happened to. He did not serve time here he was kicked out instead.
Following that up with dept of immigration may be in your best interest though.
In my opinion no... not under any circumstances! Not even if there is the smallest of risks.
Would you trust him around other people’s kids? If the answer is no then he shouldn’t be around his own.
If he’s been convicted then no no big NO not ANY CHILDREN under any circumstances ! Keep your kids far far away ! And one day when you can explain to your children why because they do deserve to know !
I worked in child protection for years and any history of child sexual assault by an offender always rang alarm bells for us and always recommended children stay far away - it’s not worth the risk !!!!! These perpetrators are master manipulators and scheming . They charm people or other wise known as grooming to make you believe they have ‘changed’ but truth is they are attracted to young and vulnerable , even with strong will to not act on their desires they still think it dream about it ... the psychology of it goes deeper . Its kind of like someone that is gay they can’t just switch off who they are attracted to ... know what I mean ?
Please get legal advice on how to make sure he stays away from your children . Don’t have any contact with him what so ever to avoid yourself getting sucked into his lies . It’s not worth the risk ! You can do this mumma you got this !
Gather your support network , build it up prior to his release date , if there’s temptation to have contact with him fight it , if he tries to take you to court fight it and get child protection involved if you need to (report his attempts to have contact and hopefully they will help support you in where to go and what to do ) !! Xo good luck
I don’t think she is tempted to have contact. She says that she is terrified he’ll try. Her post very much states that she wants to keep them away from him, she is even considering whether it is possible to have his citizenship revoked and him deported.
Her problem is, that it isn’t really her decision. If he applies to have access, a court will decide and she will have no choice. Courts can, and sometimes do, give visitation rights to convicted sex offenders. This is what is distressing for Mum, this is what she’s seeking reassurance about, and advice to avoid.
My daughter was abused when she was 8 years old by our next door neighbour, in addition it turns out he also had been accused of raping a 15 year old. He had two small children of his own, the oldest of which was 7. He retained custody for the 2 years it took from when he was arrested until he was convicted of indecent dealing of a child. During that time, he split with his partner and his oldest child remained living with him. During sentencing, he used the custody of his child as an excuse to shorten his sentence. Clearly being a convicted sex offender - guilty of offences against a minor, did not prevent him from still having custody of his own similar aged child.
So, while it seems like it should be cut and dried, and he should not have any access, I suspect he may still have legal rights. Def seek solid legal advice. Do what you can to protect your kids, Mama. Much love to you all xx