Hi I’m needing advice on how to support my mum after she has been sexually harassed in the work place.
A male in her work place has been acting inappropriately for over a year.
It started as him telling her he loved her continuously Then went to him asking for hugs, constantly staring at her, following her around (she stated she was scared from this point) I told her she has to stand up for herself and tell him NO which she started doing however it continued so she made a complaint to management which they addressed it, it settled for a few months then started again, but instantly got worse he started leaving her unwanted gifts (chocolate, his shirt, even tried leaving money in her work bag), mums anxiety rewatched a new height from here on and as she works early mornings she was to scared to drive to work alone, I was having to wake up at 5am with 3 kids and drive her. she ended up telling him she has a partner and he instantly got so angry and started crying shouting ‘how could you do this to me’ ‘how long has this been going on for’ ‘is it because my skin is to black’ (he is Indian). Her work colleagues witnessed these incidents and all were worried for her and told him to back off! He walked upto her the next day at work and asked for a hug which she sternly told him NO and he physically chased her around the work place for a hug... then while my mum was talking to a work colleague who is also a union rep he walked up behind her and squeezed her boobs. After this mum took ALOT of sick days, lost so much weight :( I have been so worried for her. The union rep reported the incident and she made a further complaint to higher management. They took her statement of events in an interview and gave the name of the witnesses... now it’s been a few months since and she got the outcome back yesterday and they said ‘there is no evidence to support her claim’ I’m so shocked and sad for her! She is so depressed and scared! Turns out they didn’t even interview the witnesses names she gave, except for one and he stated exactly what he saw which was the man getting angry crying at my mum having a partner and chasing her for a hug... one of the witnesses had seen a lot but must have wanted to not be involved as they denied seeing certain things but they are also his close friend so not sure about what happened with that person. But my mum is so upset, she’s been put on anti depressants, and referred to a counsellor. But is now taking stress leave from work.
She is so upset that they have stated in her outcome that she had lied :(.
I don’t trust this work place they are known for covering issues up (very well known company) and also the manager that took the first complaint conveniently lost all her notes from when she handled the first incident so she couldn’t have an input in this situation.
I’m. Telling mum to seek legal advise but she’s so down in the dumps and scared no one believes her. How do I support her through this :(
8 Replies
Also to add:
My mum has never had a relationship with this man in any way physically or mentally. He is married and began acting this way out of the blue
Go to the police. It is and always should have been a police matter.
Might be worth a conversation with fair work and the union rep
Definitely get the police involved. Your mum probably doesn’t want to but what he did was assault, and he should be charged. I used to work for a company that had a lot of Indian men as employees and I know it sounds racist but I do think it is a cultural thing so he probably sees nothing wrong in what he is doing.
If it’s a big business as you have mentioned, most have a HR director. Your mum needs to send a private and confidential letter to that person- address with a name then only that person will open. In this letter it needs to star what has happened, dates, names of all involved from the perpetrator to anyone involved in reporting the incident, and alleged investigation etc. also explain the physical and emotional effect on her. Take time to write this it is very important. Then leave contact details for them to respond and talk to her. In my experience the team may be trying to cover up problems at a site level, however this way your mum will get fair hearing from the policy makers who my guess won’t tolerate this type of thing. She probably also has options for the police and legal action against the work place. Depends on which way she wants to go. But no matter the path send the letter, she has nothing to loose.
I had a man, from the same country as your mothers assailant, talk to me in a park where our kids were playing .. he got very insistent and creepy.. he ended up squeezing MY boob. I went STRAIGHT to the Police and he was arrested, plead guilty and was deported. All I had was a really blurry picture I took as I drove away. No witnesses, other than my kids who saw me angry as I ran to the car yelling at them we are going home. They WILL believe and most likely he will be charged. Get her to a police station ASAP.
If HR and management haven’t handled it correctly. Then she should contact the police. I am sure her organisation wouldn’t appreciate the phone call from the coppers.
I have had the same sort of issue! I was advised to go to women’s legal (there is a service in every state and territory and they are a free service) they were great they gave me all the advice I needed and then put me in contact with a workers comp lawyer who deals in worker cover and harassment cases