Hi, this might be a bit long and complicated so I apologize..
My baby's father and I were in a relationship for about 12 months and were "just friends" for a long time before we made things "official", (so I know 100% he's her father).. we've been broken up for about 6 months now, and there's been absolutely no contact whatsoever, he made it very clear he wanted nothing to do with me or our baby. Baby is now a month old and he nor any of his family have met her or even bothered to make any contact or anything, until last week when her father rang me to argue about child support. I have never wanted anything from him apart from him being a father to his daughter, I personally am totally okay with not receiving any money from him, I'm doing fine on my own but Centrelink is pushing me to try and get maintenance from him. He's not on the birth certificate and she doesn't have his name but I had to list up to 3 possible men who could be the father, so I couldn't really get around listing him as the father (with centrelink at least). I myself would rather not accept anything from him as to not give him any reason to get nasty, or make it seem like I need him, I also feel like I already have enough going on without trying to get blood from a stone, so to speak. The issue of money is making him quite nasty towards me and even though I've tried to explain that I don't want the money and I'm happy to get nothing it seems like centrelink is going to force me to go through this struggle for money that bubs father has already refused to pay and I don't want. Is there anything at all I can do to try and get my point across so the issue can be resolved
Child support problems
Child support problems
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Money
21 Replies
Is he listed on the birth certificate? If so, was there any reason you listed him?
Isn't it a legal requirement to list the father if you know who he is?
https://www.bdm.vic.gov.au/births/register-a-birth#Oneparentreg
Not necessarily
That link does not support your dribble, sorry.
My "dribble" ? Huh?
Nowhere in that link does it say you don't have to put the father on the birth certificate if you know who it is, only what to do if they refuse to sign.
No it doesn't, I never said it does. I said not necessarily. Based on the OP, the father wants nothing to do with the child, and she is fine with that, and doesn't want CS. The only contact we know of is to argue CS payments.
Sometimes it is easier for all parties to not have him on there. Particularly when wanting to apply for a passport and needing both signatures as an example. HOWEVER, OP - I would suggest if you can to apply for a passport sooner rather than later and just keep it continuously up to date whilst he is in semi-contact :)
In south Australia you legally do not have to list the father. My sons says ‘paternity not acknowledged’.
I think where ever possible and in an ideal world my son would have his fathers name on the birth certificate. However due to HIS behaviour (he made it very clear he would make it impossible for his son to leave the country on a holiday, even though he’d also made it clear he never wanted to be in his life ever all before the child was born and I hadn’t even planned a holiday 😮). So his behaviour, legal advice, social worker advice and my best judgement made it sensible to leave him off the certificate!
I have never hidden my son from his dad nor have I bad mouthed him. I have always left that door open, just in case his dad gets his sh*t together. But I certainly wasn’t going to pay huge legal bills just so my son could go on a holiday and have a name written on a piece of paper. My son is now an adult.
The thing is you get less ftb if youre not claiming child support or if he denies it you can be entitled to mde than youre currently getting.
I am the same as yiu amd do just fine with what i get. They cant force you. Or you could just sign up with child support and tick the box that says private agreement. So you say he gives it to you privately, they dont collect it from him. Youre doing yourself out of $$ by saying hes given it when he hasnt though, amd youll have to claim it at tax time, and he can claim hes given it... its all tricky. Probably best to just go through it and let him pay the minimum.
As hes being a dick. Cut contact with him, lodge the form and let them deal with it. They handle it all, and colect the money and chasw him for it. You dont contact him at all and he has no need to contact you.
Then if he doesnt pay you get the highest payment ans they will most likely collect it eventually from his tax. You can ignore it completely. If you ever get any money, and you dont need it, put it in an account for the child.
As someone who did what you are currently doing and got burnt badly in the way of a massive debt from Centrelink, I strongly advise not to do a private agreement and not collect. I will only do CSA collect now. It was a massive headache trying to work it all out, it got sent to the tribunal and I had to produce all this magical paperwork and proof from everywhere and I still got left out of pocket although the debt got reduced. Not a good idea!
Tell CSA he is causing you grief and they can advise you what to do next. They can tell him themselves not to discuss child support with you, if that does not work they might suggest something more concrete. If it get's really bad to the point of physical abuse and you're scared to leave your house you can ask for an exemption from seeking collection through centrelink. This is for severe cases of abuse etc.
You might not need the money now bubs is small but as s/he grows you will need it. I would block him from your phone or get a restraining order so he can’t contact you and tell CSA to collect on your behalf. You and your baby deserve that money, he is obligated to pay. Save it for school and other times this baby will cost you more that now because I can tell you it can get very expensive raising a child on your own.
Alls you have to do is lodge a maintenance thing with child support, from there it is upto child support to chase the payments, not you. IF you would rather, just switch to private collect and then if he doesn’t pay, he doesn’t pay but I wouldn’t recommend that. Let child support chase it and put it in an account for your child for when they are older.
Yes, if you don’t want any money it’s very easily solved, just go private collect. Child support send you the paperwork each year on what he has to pay, but if he doesn’t, they don’t even know. I did this for years with my ex, he was paying, just well below what he was supposed to.
Just explain to him that Centrelink contacting has nothing to do with you. Tell him that when you lodged your information that you had to put the information in, but that you also don’t have his name on birth certificate because you don’t want his money or his obligation to be in her life. Tell him that it actually has nothing to do with you and that if he wants to work something out or find out how you can wipe him off your daughters Centrelink records then do it. Surely he will understand that it’s their job to chase up people for money that they are entitled to pay.
I am a social worker at Centrelink and you can apply for an exemption from having to seek child support, this stays in place until you ask for it to be removed, if ever. You need to speak to a Centrelink social worker and they can complete the assessment. It's for cases where there is a hIstory of domestic violence and a fear of collecting child support. You will need a third party to verify situation. Hope this helps and you will get maximum ftb a and b. Obviously if you start working this can be affected.
This is what I came on here to say, I have had an exemption since I separated, nearly 4 years ago for DV. I have 3 kids 11,8,6 and have worked for the past 3 years and find that with the CENTRELINK money and my income I mange ok. OP I think this is the best option for you, it takes it all out of your hands and if you need people to verify your situation I’m sure you can because he does sound abusive
I don’t know, he doesn’t abusive to me, just got a woman pregnant he didn’t love and obviously didn’t want her to have the baby. Guys need to take responsibility if they don’t want a baby or they end up in these situations, where they have no power to make the decision if they want to become a parent. Doesn’t anyone consider family planning these days?
Totally agree but if hes bothering her with abusive messages it is abusive. However, she could equally put in the info and let child support handle it all. If thats the only contact he has, cut him off. An email or a third party like his mums email is all you need for contact.
This is only my opinion, I don't think you get to have a child and then bow out of caring for it - or paying for it! How are you doing fine on your own if CL is on your back about CS payments. You're doing fine on your own when CL has no interest in what you're doing financially because they're not paying you. That part makes up my answer. If you legitimately want nothing from him you need to be able to do it on your own. If you can't do it on your own he needs to pay CS instead of expecting other taxpayers to foot the bill.
Get a job, support yourself and then Centrelink won't be a worry as you won't need it.