Hi, I’ wondering what people’s thoughts are on laptops in teenagers rooms. I’ve got Master 15 currently arguing that we aren’t giving him freedom. In saying that he does have free reign (pretty much) of the computer in the computer room.
He has a laptop in his bedroom at present which is only for school use (assignments etc) but it isn’t allowed to be used for any other purposes.
Needless to say I’m not very popular, I even got my first “I hate you and my life”
So I guess I’m just needing advice on whether I am being unreasonable.
Thanks all
8 Replies
We did a staggered, earn more freedom approach. So initially ALL devices in the open areas. Then as he had shown he could be responsible they could have more access in there room knowing that I would be monitoring useage AND that all devices go into the loungeroom at bedtime.
Gradually over time you looosen the reigns just like you do with all other skills in your teens life.
My brother is 15 and has all his devices in his room at all times. Rarely comes out of his room but thats not my monkey... he has to ask for my mums debt card if he ever wants to buy things ect and earns the money and isn’t irresponsible when it comes to spending money on the internet. He does use it excessively though and could probably use some more restrictions but as far as we know, all his friends are the same
Look at brett lee cyber safety
Probably a bit different for girls due to the nature of the internet - however we were allowed laptops in our rooms from 16 :) we chose our own bed times from then onwards and did whatever we wanted pretty much. It worked very well for us and our family
I think there's room for a little more leeway. Does he have a smart phone with internet access? I'm assuming he doesn't because I'd imagine he'd prefer to use that instead of a laptop. So, if the laptop is the only device he has I'd give him a bit of unrestricted time with it in his room - I think that's a fair middle ground!
I always tell my kids that the internet is a privilege not a right, so if they do the wrong thing that's it, access is gone and they have to earn back that trust before they get access again.
Secondly, I tell them as long as they're under my roof and I'm paying for the Wi-Fi and/or devices I will be monitoring the usage.
So with that said, let him know you'll be monitoring his usage, some porn blocking apps may be advisable and I'd ask him what he plans on using it for (IE, streaming, social media, YouTube etc).
I don't think where he uses his computer is an issue if he abides by your rules about what he can use it for....
Make rules to ensure his safety, his emotional wellbeing, that he isn't having too much screen time and have a good antivirus program on it so your details are safe etc and let him show you he can be responsible
Check out Susan Mclean - cyber safety expert. She's got some good guidelines.
So you got to 15 and just got your first ‘I hate you..” that’s impressive! 👊🏼
You’re doing a good job setting firm boundaries. Stick at it! 👍🏻