Grab a cuppa and pull up a chair, this is a bit of a read.
Background: I have two children. A 5yo and a 1yo. 5yo father has aspergers and my sister has ASD. My 5yo has been in and out of specialists since he was 2. Hes seen paediatricians, occupational theropists and child psychologists, at the time the goal was to get coping strategies rather then a diagnosis. Now fast forward to now and the school has requested that we get a diagnosis so they can get the funds for a teacher aid for him. Which I am fine with.
I'm just curious if anyone else's child/children have similar behaviours like my 5yo, and what was the outcome.
-has little to no attention spand
-roars and stomps around (like a dinosaur) as means of communication (he can talk perfectly fine, 4/5 word sentences, but prefers to just roar at people)
-struggles to interact social wise (does the above)
-hides under furniture (tables ect) both at home and school when hes angry, sad, frustrated
-hates change or the slightest thing out of routine
-hates loud noises (will cover ears and high pitch squeal until said noise stops) he has to wear ear muffs at school assembly ect
-he was difficult to toilet train, was 4yo, he just wasn't ready beforehand
-struggles to follow simple instructions
-has no sense of personal space and is always touching people, for example cuddling or tickling, mostly myself, my partner, his teachers or classmates
There are more things, but this is just to name a few.
I feel so alone and quite judged by his behaviours sometimes. When we're out at the shops and he roars at random people or hugs a complete stranger (the staring and the judgement eyes dont go unnoticed) Hes really a beautiful little boy with such a kind heart.
This is a place where women from different backgrounds, cultures and beliefs come together to support one another judgement free.
10 Replies
A lot of his behaviour sounds like my 4 year old boy and honesty, I thought it was just normal. So I am interested to see what other people think in the comments because I’ve nwver thought it was anything but usual behaviour from my boy but now I’m starting to wonder if I’m wrong...
It’s not an issue until it’s an issue.
If you & your boy are coping with life, then it’s not an issue. Don’t question it & continue as you are.
If you or your boy are not coping, it may have become an issue. That might not happen til down the track, it might not happen at all.
How does your child eat? How does he process touch, sounds & public situations? How does he cope with school & learning? How is his speech & communication.
If no aspects of his or your life are being affected, then I wouldn’t worry.
I have 2 children who are so borderline that I question it regularly, but not enough that I’d have them assessed. I just deal with all their separate needs as I go.
You could describe a number of children I know with ASD. I’m surprised nobody has done a formal diagnostic process yet (even if it’s not ASD) as it helps access funding for early intervention.
My son and myself are on the spectrum and I work with kids on the spectrum.
What does the psych say? They do the diagnosis anyway so of theyve spent time with him they would have an idea by now.
Also school needing a diagnosis is complete bullshit. The funding goes to the school not on that child. So it is completely their discretion what support to give a child the child does not 'need' and may not have a diagnosis. Its ok if they do but ehsn theyre borderline it can be a very pressuring situation feeling like you need one for them to help.
Poster here:
They haven't really mentioned anything to me about what he could have, just coping strategies, I have heard them mention anxiety before.
Where we live is extremely remote and the school has like 40 kids tops (from kindy to high school), the school is struggling with him and needs extra support, they did have a teacher aid in kindy last year and he really benefited from that. Honestly I just hope the school does the right thing and get a teacher aid just like they said they need one.
Your comment about the school isn’t correct. A school can apply for extra funding for a special needs aid when a child has a diagnosis. They can’t access this funding unless they apply for it. They also can’t use it as they please. A schools funding is all allocated. I am involved in this area. A school would not apply for funding for a special needs aid then not employ that aid.
Possibly ASD and ADHD. Being a mum is hard. I understand how you're feeling xx
Autism for sure.
My niece is 4, awaiting diagnosis & sounds very similar.
The judgement is hard to deal with, but just try to remember that it comes from ignorance. It doesn’t matter if a child has special needs or not, it’s not hard to just have some simple compassion & understanding. All children struggle with different situations.
It frustrates me no end that people want to judge children and their emotions & inabilities to cope so harshly. They’re children. They’re allowed to feel. When even neurotypical children can have that understanding, special needs children may be one step closer to having the understanding they need.
I made up my mind before finishing your list. You know it’s autism right? The school is right, having a diagnosis is what can bring funding, support and understanding. Get him and you the supports and help you need, not to change him, but to help him be the best version of himself he can be. Being labeled as the naughty kid isn’t going to help his confidence, knowing why you’re different and celebrating your differences is paramount.
Ps I have 3 on the spectrum, age 21 - 15