What should I do?
I separated from my kids dad over 5 years ago. My kids are 10 and 13.
They both tell me that he speaks about me in a negative way and says horrible things about both me and my boyfriend. These things are said straight to them about me and in my opinion it has started making them speak down to me and disrespect me at home.
They never used to be like this and it could be their ages but they show me no respect and I believe it's coming from him.
Do I speak to him about it?
Im losing control of my kids from his negative attitude towards me.....
He's always used swear words a lot and now my kids are swearing at me too.
Any advice?
1 Replies
My boys are now 13 and 11, separated from their father nearly 11 years ago. Went through similar attitudes a couple of years ago with both boys. After a bit of yelling I walked away. When I had calmed down I went back and sat them both down and told them it’s not on. That they are both old enough to tell whoever is being rude and disrespectful of me in front of them to stop. I said it didn’t matter who it was, their father, a friend, whoever, they (the other person) doesn’t have to like me but the boys don’t deserve to have to listen to someone be so disrespectful of me. I don’t know whether they said anything to their father but they did stop with that attitude. I’m still in contact with my ex in laws and have been told several times over the years that my ex and whoever his current partner is, are banned from talking about me at their house because of the way he speaks about me in front of the boys. I’m about to start family counseling with my eldest because of other attitudes that have been getting worse over the past 6-12 months that I suspect are coming from his father.
Tell your kids they are old enough to stand up for you if others are being disrespectful, they don’t deserve to have to hear adult issues like that. Can you speak to your ex about it? Are you still in contact with your ex in laws? Can you speak to them about it? Try family counseling. Your kids are old enough to know right from wrong, that some actions/behaviours might be allowed at dads but not with you. Get some support now before both are inundated with hormones making the situation worse. Good luck!