My 14yr old son would be described as a quiet well mannered kid. He is to everyone except his 9yr old step sister. It has pretty much been like this since she came into our life at 4yrs old. They've always been like oil and water but at the same time are so alike. My issue is my son mostly intentionally is nasty to her. For example making her move off the couch, ordering her not to enter the kitchen while his in there, pushing past her then saying she was in the way. Maybe just typical teen behaviour but I'm concerned as it really hasn't gotten better and I see it as bullying and unacceptable. I usually get up him, telling him it's not necessary to do such and such to her. Take away friend time and today his phone. I seriously consider taking him to speak to someone about his behaviour and the impact it's having on his sister (I worry she'll grow up and be treated like crap thinking it's deserved) What should I do?
5 Replies
Ask him why he hates her? Does she live with you while he doesn't? Did you have an affair with her mum and he's displacing his anger? Obviously he's hurting. Perhaps by punishing him he thinks you're against him?
Ps... You sound like a good man... Just looking at it from his perspective
I would straight up tell him "I'm booking you in to speak to someone about how you treat Miss 9, clearly I'm not getting through to you".
The threat of that may make him pull his head in or he may really need to see a professional to deal with something going on in his life.
Don't let people tell you this is normal or okay sibling behavior either. Common? Absolutely, but it's toxic and cannot continue.
Until then, keep reprimanding him every single time. It would be absolutely demoralizing for her, as I'm sure you know.
Keep at it Mum, you're doing a good job!
Sometimes you need to stop reprimanding and start listening.
I didn't say she shouldn't listen to him and I actually acknowledged he may need some professional help.
Regardless of what he's going through personally, if he's being cruel to Miss 9 he needs to be pulled up for it. She needs to know someone's on her side too!