Who here suffers from social anxiety and how do you get past it? My girlfriend told me she’s having a 30th bday party in November and I must be there. I was frantically trying to think of a reason I can’t go and my heart pumping a million miles an hour. I’m a mum of 4 so I’ve not really socialized since mother’s group when my first was born almost 7 years ago. We all kind of went our separate ways once some started working and others had more kids etc.
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I have developed social anxiety due to being at home too much caring for my adult son. I make a plan with my psychologist before the event.
That includes choosing what I’ll wear well in advance, and doing some grooming. My psychologist and I discuss things like offering to help take food around to guests. It gives me something to do, so I don’t feel lost at the party, and makes me feel less panicked. It’s also an icebreaker ‘would you like a ...’ without having to think about holding a conversation.
We also practice my anxiety plan. Eg finding 5 blue things, my body check exercises. I usually find getting to the party the hardest and once I’m there, it’s ok.
If your friend is aware of your issues she will probably be happy to give you a job on the night.
I have social anxiety and I am a hairdresser so you could imagine the panic attacks I have regularly and my thought process most days.
I don’t have much useful advice other then, I make myself do it. I don’t give myself a choice. I just push myself every day because I need to work for the money.
I have only developed the social anxiety since having kids and being on mat-leave twice which made me become even more introverted.
I also have separation anxiety from my kids and find it extremely difficult to go to parties/special occasions without them but recently but the bullet because my partner wanted me to go along with him. And honestly, it took about 3 hours to relax and stop checking the time or my phone for messages from my Mum but once I got passed all that, I had the absolute best time I have in a long time. And I’m so glad I did it.
Sometimes I think you have to push past your comfort zones. Not all the time, but sometimes. Because those sometimes, it definitely pays off.
Go, get drunk and have fun.
(My social anxiety completely disappears after a few drinks so make sure you can have a few to relax yourself and let down that wall.)
Yes I have this. Find one or two people to be with the whole night. I don't do crowds very well and I don't like sitting by myself it makes me really self concious. Like what do I do? What do I look at? Should I get my phone out so I look busy? Should I move? I wish someone would sit down next to me and chatter away! Maybe I should find the toilet just so I know where it is later.
I try to find someone I know and stay in the background.. I also offer to help clean up and help in the kitchen.. you are there for your friend, you’re seen as being helpful and you are too busy too interact much