I have a bad habit of nerating everything out loud. I think I picked it up after having children. It started as discribing what I am up to for the watching and listing baby and has developed from there. I think when I became a single mother it got worse as I had no one really to talk to other than my kids so I found it comfortable I suppose to just prattle on. I should also note I am a chatter box and do this is additional to all the other chatter I do at my partner. It can be anything from discribing out loud what I think the dog is thinking, commenting out loud to a TV show or just describing what I am doing. I am not really talking to anybody in particular but don't often do it when I am alone.
I have now been in a relationship for a year and a half and my partner has raised the issue. He says I just never shut up basically. So question... Is this weird? Do other women do it? I didn't even really realise I was doing it but now I know, I am finding it super hard to stop. I try to just do it in my head but I forget and just start talking again. I can understand how it is annoying and want to tone it down so any tips on how to keep your mouth shut when you are an excessive talker would be great?
I can't stop talking
I can't stop talking
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Self Care
8 Replies
Maybe see a psychologist... it could be some sort of anxiety/ mental health problem? In saying that once you get intoa habit it can be very hard to change it.
I have anxiety disorder which I must admit at the moment is fairing up. I never considered it related good thinking
I was just about to say, it sounds like an anxious behavior. I'm quite socially anxious, sometimes my mouth takes over - I can feel myself being awkward but it's like my brain's shut down lol!
I second chatting with a psych.
It sure is a social issue. Part of interacting is knowing if the other person is interested, checking ourselves are we being interesting,engaging, turn taking etc.
Sounds to me like its a nervous or lonely thing. I dont think trying to internalize it is the full answer, but why do you need to be filling every second with meaningless chatter. Can you do silence? Have you tried meditation?
I do this when my anxiety is bad. Not all the time but before an appointment or something like that. I just talk about the stupidest stuff even to myself. I actually reply to myself. Like, "Should I wear my black jeans??"....then, "Hmmm nah maybe the grey pants are better" 😂. And I sing Sweet Home Alabama. See your doctor about your anxiety.
I do this all the time and I assure you there is nothing mentally unwell about me. Sometimes it’s a personality trait and sometimes it’s a need to get out of the house more amd sometimes it’s a need for more conversation or stimulation. Having said that, do you have any other hyper behaviours or inattentive or impulsive things? Women with mild ADHD are often overlooked. But it could just be nothing to worry about.
I like to do some deep breathing to calm my system down before socialising so I’m not too hyper (I don’t get out much 😂). I make myself move slower and speak slower and softer too. It becomes more natural the more you practise it. I also try to pause between answering questions and in between parts of telling someone something.
I find some very short mindfulness/meditations to do regularly to help a racing mind. Others I know, keep a journal to put thoughts/feelings into to save bombarding others with all your racing thoughts.
But you know what, I’m learning to accept that this is part of who I am and I spend time with people who like it! Helps even out when you have times you need to reign it in. Like when your partner needs down time at home 😂 I usually go and do something else when that is the case.
Download some meditation and mindfulness apps and just practice being still and quiet 🤫
Google info on meditation
It’s good to start with guided meditation. It’s all about calming the mind to slow down your thoughts/inner chatter this might help slow down your need to talk about stuff. It helps to relieve anxiety and stress
It’s slowed me down a lot (I’m an internal chatter box with a million thoughts a minute)
Deep breathing and focusing on that has helped me tremendously
Good luck