Can you pls post anonymously
Is this worth ending a friendship for?
I’m 7 months pregnant and asked for my nursery furniture back from a friend, she said no my child is still using it ( child is 3yrs old). I made it clear that I was lending not giving it to her and this is my 4th and last baby. Should I just bite the bullet and buy new furniture. Why are ppl so rude?
15 Replies
I can see both points here.
Did you lend it to her saying "just when you're finished with it I will take it back please" or was it "when I have my next baby" (or was it not even communicated)?
It's really hard because she would have been under the impression that she would be using it until she no longer needed it, and for whatever reason regardless of age she is still using it. But now that you are pregnant and need it back it puts you in a bad position.
As an alternative, could you maybe lend out some of your elder kids furniture as a swap back?
Ultimately she SHOULD give it back and you are the owner so I mean you could demand it, but just decide whether it is worth ruining a friendship over (but if she isn't willingly giving it back she sounds like a bit of a dick friend anyway).
My exact words were “ I’m happy to pass it back and forth. I still wanting 1 more baby in a few years” she retuned all other baby items except the big expensive furniture pieces. Approximately $2000.
Ahh it's a hard one then, as passing back and forth kind of doesn't leave one owner at the end of it.
Really? I thought I was clear - pass it back when I have my next baby. But maybe I wasn’t clear enough.
It’s probably pregnancy hormones and I’m getting upset over nothing.
Yes, there is one owner! The one who paid for it...
It'd be different if they went halves or it was given to said friend as a gift ("hey I don't need this anymore, you can have it") but if it was clear it was a loan situation then the friend should give it back as it's not her property!
Maybe give her X amount of time to return it so she has a chance to replace items she needs. I would probably not rely on these items though, she doesn't sound willing to part with them!
$2000 worth of furniture is a bloody lot to just wipe clean and would frustrate me to no end. In saying that I’d be telling her you’re about to have Bub and need it back - not ask! Failing that I couldn’t be friends with someone that would so blatantly rip me off :-( I would end the friendship... she should return it now her child is 3 and no longer a baby.
Oh wow $2000 worth of stuff has changed my answer. I'd definitely be asking for it back, in fact I would actually consider going through a legal route if she refuses. $2000 is too much to lose.
Either way I think you have lost a friend! I mean if you don’t push it - you will resent it and if you do... How inconsiderate of her! As soon as I knew you were pregnant I would have asked if you needed the items back regardless if I thought you gave them to me or loaned them to me! You have done her a big favour she has had the usage for 3 years!!
It would depend what it is for me as to whether I'd demand it back. Like pretty much the only baby furniture I actually used was a cot...but I can't imagine a 3 year old still in a cot? (I could be wrong) however I do think she should just give it back since it is yours.
I'd just put it down as a very expensive lesson learned - don't lend stuff to people!
I've learnt this lesson a few times myself, you either don't get it back or it's returned damaged! People don't care...
I would get tough and say you need it back within the next 2 weeks. The kid is three! It's your furniture.
The only reaosn i can think that she would say no is that she feels you gave it and are now trying a take back.
Have the conversation again and be clear that it was a loan and its too expensive to give away. See what she thinks the situation is. Leave it and sit on it a few days then decide what to do about the furniture and the friendship.
You paid for it and her kid is 3. Time for a real bed
I wonder if she sold it and that's why she is saying she is still using it?
I was going to say the same thing!