Hi Ladies, So I have a wedding coming up and I found out recently that an ex bookkeeper related through marriage who nearly sent me bankrupt by stealing thousands of dollars off me through a business a few years ago will not only be attending but will be sitting at my table. I haven’t forgiven this person and have no intention on doing so but I have been asked to keep the peace by other family members. How should I get through the night without throwing punches and hair pulling? I’ve also been told this person wants to apologise to me.
8 Replies
You suck it up for the night! Someone's wedding isn't the time or place to be hashing out old grudges. You are both guests and should behave accordingly.
If you really don't feel you can do that you could ask the bride/groom if the seating arrangements can be changed if possible but it's likely this was the best arrangement or all else fails, you simply don't go.
It doesn't mean you have to forgive said person, it doesn't even mean you have to interact but you do need to be civil, not for this persons benefit but for the benefit of the couple because they deserve a drama free wedding.
This is the time to suck it up, behave as if you are in court or stay home. Don’t visit these issues on the bride and groom by expecting them to shuffle seating or by not holding it together. Keep reminding yourself that it’s a wedding and that you couldn’t do that to the bride and groom.
I think you should ask to be moved and let the organiser know the history so they are aware. Make it clear you don't want special treatment but just want to swap places for everyones benefit. Ask that the bookkeeper is made aware that you will be there too, she might choose to not go and problem solved. What a horrible person to have done that to you, I hope its been all sorted now?
Honestly, a few drinks in and you run the risk of getting very angry by the sounds of it. Ask for either you or her to be moved so that the risk is minimised.
I think it's really shit of the bride to place you on a table with them. At my wedding we had guests who weren't on good terms and despite being mother and son, we placed them at separate tables on different sides of them room.
I personally wouldn't keep the peace if the family are disrespectful enough to place you on a table with them. I'd have a chat with the bride and just say how you really do not want to be on a table with them and hope that there is another table. Otherwise, regretfully decline going. Is it worth potentially ruining someone's wedding because of bad history?
The bride may not have known about these 2 having hard feelings, I don't think anyone planning a wedding would deliberately seat people together if they knew it was likely to cause conflict.
But I agree, the options are simple.
1. Ask to be moved.
2. Behave like an adult for the sake of the wedding if seating arrangements can't be changed.
3. Don't go if you can't keep the peace.
To be honest, I'd be furious if my wedding guests resorted to "throwing punches and pulling hair" no matter what history there was.
Suck it up, ignore them turn your position so youre not in the same conversation, ignore. To be honest, I do understand wanting to smash teeth in, but that's never hee way to go anyway, if they stole from you take it to court, and even if you did that, you could still sit at a table with them - it won't be pleasant but you can do it. Remember having anger and hate at them only upsets you and ruins your time there, so for your own benefit you need to let it go and not waste your night focusing on them. The seated part doesn't last that long, afterwards you can move and ignore the fact they're there. Enjoying your night and blanking them will make them feel like shit more than engaging with them will.
My response to wanting to apologise would be 'show me the money' that's all I'd be interested in.
Wants to apologise?
"Pay me back and I'll accept your apology."
Other than that, ignore the person. They don't deserve your attention