Can you please explain to me why is it so hard to be a mum. All I do is for my babies but it just isn’t enough. Why does it have to be so hard? I’m a single mum of two gorgeous teenage boys and a beautiful 7 year old girl. She gets it, she seems to know that mum does everything she can but the boys it’s just not good enough. Even my dad gives me a hard time about my messy house while he sits back on his arse and watches my mum do fucking everything. I’m sorry I’m over it. And I guess I thought maybe you would read and sympathise. But anyways thank you for everything you post and everything you do for us Mums and good luck. I just had to vent. Why do I end the night crying I deserve better than this
6 Replies
Because its seriously fucking hard.
Yeah when you have a good partner, support, money, a job, can get to hobbies and activities to nurture yourself its so much less demanding and more enjoyable, but when it tips out of balance, the struggle is real.
Being a mum is hard!
This is a great opportunity to teach your sons how to contribute to the home though so they don't grow up with this sense of entitlement, so that when they start going into relationships of their own they don't just expect the women in their lives to slave around after them.
I see so many posts here from exasperated women who's partners are so lazy and I honestly think it's because they grew up with their parents (particularly their mothers) doing everything for them!
I think a bit of tough love will help you a lot, teach them how to do their own washing, teach them to cook basic meals, put some chores in place and consequences if they choose not to do them.
Not only will this make your life easier but you'll be giving them important life skills too.
Also, tell your dad to stick it where the sun don't shine!
Yes! My boys both have to cook dinner at least once a fortnight, which includes choosing a meal and getting the recipe to me in advance so I can check the ingredients before doing the fortnightly shop. We are still working on doing the washing up as neither like doing it. They also have a list of other jobs they get 'paid' to do, including wahing, vacuuming and mopping among others. I'm determined both my boys will be able to live by themselves as adults (currently 13 and nearly 11).
Teenagers suck. I have 2. There’ll be 4 of them soon... ew.
But you know what? They’re not entitled to shit. Turn off the internet til things get done. Take devices. Gosh, I’ve told my biggest not to eat my bloody food til she does what she needs to do to contribute!
At the moment I’m limiting finances to her until she finds herself a job. She has what she needs, but I’m done with wants. I’m also a single parent, working my toosh off... but not for $200 bloody shoes for someone else!!
It almost helps when you remind yourself what it was like when you were a teen... then it ticks you off more because you weren’t that much of a jerk!!
It’s a massive head game & it’s only when we come out the other end we see whether or not we succeeded...
Tell your dad to back off (I have one of those too, and lost it with him one night), and make those boys pull their weight. Then prepare for your daughter to destroy everything you thought you’d learned about teenagers! (My youngest is the same age & bloody fantastic... I fully expect her teenage self to ruin me)
Stop the tears, hold your head high & remind yourself that in a few short years they’ll be out of your house, & that apparently you’ll miss them 🤷🏼♀️
Yes I sympathise I get you it’s Males, Males, Males, Males!!!
Lived with Males all my life and out of all the stress I have endured in my life it’s because of Males
Boundaries! Next time your dad says that say with love dad thanks for the advice but when you living by yourself support yourself and do all the cleaning yourself and don't have your wife do all the cleaning for you while raising 3 kids, then come back and tell me how easy it is. A clean house does not define you. Some advice from a single mum. 1 Tell family not to come ova unannounced. 2 kids clean kids areas bed rooms bathrooms toilet and lounge once a week BEFORE they are allowed any privileges like phone, tv going out, also get them to take care of their own laundry Putting away and getting it into the laundry and even washing. If mum cooks kids can help with the dishes and cleaning up. This will prepare your kids to do their fair share ( and your girl not to wait on a man hand and foot) when they get married. You are not the servant you are the team leader of the family who fairly deligates all the jobs that need to be done. Follow Constance Hall on Facebook as well. You are a queen...so straighten your Crown and get Queening. 👑👸🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻