Hi IMs,
At this point I am after care areangements only for separated parents living in different states.
I have twin 8 year old boys with my ex husband and two under two with my current, amazing partner. At the moment, we all live in the same town and 50/50 works perfectly for us but my ex husband is moving interstate for work soon and wants our boys to go with him.
At this stage I have said no but I would like an idea of what people are working with. I have offered full school holidays as well as extra time if required but have any Mums with kids this age actually allowed it? My boys love their Dad and he really is a great Dad. I disagree with withholding children from their Fathers and really would like to give him as much time as possible with them but how?
I cry just thinking about them leaving to live with him but I also need to do what is best for them. I agreed to 50/50 because he can put in the time that we cant due to our busy life and work schedules and they are loving it so far so I know I have made the right decision there, but I cant bear the thought of sending them away and seeing them every 2.5 months - but this is not about me.
So please, whether they live with you or the other parent, I would love to hear what care arrangement those people living interstate have in place. Thanks X
PS. Please no comments about getting care arrangements in place, mediation etc. I know all about that already.
2 Replies
My eldest lives with his Dad. It is hard but its the best for him. I have him for school holidays and long weekends.
If you think about quality time over quantity, you may be getting the best deal. School weeks are hectic and to be honest, how much time do working parents actually spend with their school kids? I see mine for about 2 hours a day, and it's not quality time it's doing jobs and homework.
What do the boys think of it? Maybe you could ask them and see what they think but please don't separate them if they each want differently.
Ask your boys. They can move with him and have holidays with you or stay with you and have holidays with dad. With the option open to change their minds after 6-12months. I know they are still only young, but just see what they say.