Any advice??
I’m married and am having major issues with communication. My main problem is that I don’t know how to approach issues with my husband. I really struggle to have serious conversations that involve him.
We co exist, happily but I have so many concerns that I’m never brave enough to bring up with him.
I have done so in the past, it was good at the beginning, but as time has passed I really feel that I’m made out to be wrong and not listened to and that the week/s after consist of - no talking, sulking and these unresolved issues. It’s kind of at the point of ‘why bother’ except it is obviously affecting me and our children.
I’m consistently thinking about our money spending, his poor interaction with our children, his secretiveness, also that what I want in our future marriage is different to him. I feel like I’m just letting everything go so as to avoid starting any arguments. Help?? I just want to be brave enough to talk to my husband.
How to talk to him???
How to talk to him???
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Relationships & Marriage, Health & Wellbeing
3 Replies
Ok, so it sounds like when you try to communicate you get it turned around, you feel you need to be brave to bring things up with him, bringing something up is 'starting an argument', a serious conversation never happens, so he runs that off into a ditch? He blameshifts, turns it back on you, and punishes and sulks.
You need to google gaslighting. He might not be a total narcissist but just lack the skills or maturity to communicate with you (which doesn't make what he's doing any better, the fact it's happening is all that's important because at the end of the day the negative effects on you are the same regardless of why he's doing it). But first you need to understand what's going on, just be able to identify when it's happening.
Sometimes I write letters when I can’t get things out without having a massive anxiety attack.
You could write him a letter and say that once he has read it, that you’d like to talk everything through with him.
Go see a therapist and upskill yourself. Learn better communication strategies and dig into why you’re afraid to speak up