Hi all,
I'm going to try to keep this short, I've been with my partner for 4 years and I have a daughter from a previous relationship. She's got a physical disability but has just started prep, as far as goals go I feel like I know which direction I want to go career wise and then buy a house to modify for my daughter.
Over the past year and a bit my partner hasn't worked and had no income, he's suffering anxiety and I know how hard it can be to push yourself I've been there but I still kept it moving because I have someone that needs me to, I still have to because now 2 people are dependent on me. My partner is a pretty big talker and has expressed every emotion to me as they come but we just don't have the support we need from family and he didn't want to go to therapy so it's taken a big toll on our relationship, it's just us and I'm going through the same thing so it's the blind leading the frikken blind, he's also just really delved back into gaming for the past 4ish months, he will get off it to help me with our daughter but is pretty much there every hour of the day, he's also got another addiction and safety wise yes it's best not to drive but he chooses to do it as soon as he wakes up so then he can't drive anywhere and sometimes won't even run in to get milk if I ask. I'm really at a dead end and I know these aren't reasons some people would end a relationship about but every day I'm like what the heck am I doing? He's had three job offers from my family and his friends but hasn't even taken the first step, I'm at a panic point now because I've blown through thousands of dollars and quit my job because I want to be home when my daughter is. I have no savings left and really nothing else to give, we argue and don't come to a conclusion and weeks go by then it's the same thing over again. I would really just like to ask if I'm over reacting and need to work through things or if this is just how it is and try to move on. Thankyou everyone.
Partner woes
Partner woes
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health
6 Replies
The part where he won’t get help, tells me that he won’t get better. When your depressed it’s debilitating And everything is incredibly hard. But not going to see a therapist isn’t going to get him well.
As a carer myself (disabled adult son) I don’t have the right or the luxury to look after a man who won’t do everything in his power to get him self well and be a poisitive member of my house hold. I mean, I’ve been terribly, terribly depressed but you go to therapy, you work your but off to get better because our kids need us to do that. Having a bloke dragging me down, is not acceptable to me. Sure everyone has there moments, but if he isn’t working hard to get better, and get on top of his issues he needs to go.
I’ll be someone’s cheer squad if they are trying, even if it’s slow going, but if he isn’t trying then I need to move on.
Yeh I'd leave. Mental illness or not he sounds plain lazy. I have spent some time working in a community mental health setting and seen many adults with mental illnesses maintaining a job. He obviously has the motivation to game. Sounds like he is hiding behind his illness.
I'd leave too. He's an anchor that is dragging you down. It sounds like you have a good head on you and are focusing on the right things and he isn't.
He won’t treat his mental illness (I’ve been there but you have to do it), won’t get a job and has some kind of substance abuse (?) that renders him unable to drive. I think most people would have broken up ages ago tbh, not sure why you think you’re over reacting? Add a child with disabilities, you need support, not someone bringing you down. You deserve better ❤️
No hunny, this isn't just how it is and you shouldn't just accept it!
You have a child with a disability, you need support. You don't need the burden of an adult who has mental health issues he won't address, a substance addiction (which would not be helping his mental state) and who's not contributing either financially, physically or emotionally!
You don't have a partner, you have 2 children.
I think I would leave him, you have a lot on your plate already, he's really just making your life more difficult, he's certainly not enriching it in any way!
Sorry I stopped reading... yes that is a bloody good reason to end the relationship! You have a child with a disability, why take on another child/man/baby???? Your life will be simpler and easier without him, you know this. You’ll probably also find more ppl will come around and support you once he’s out of the picture.