"Regrets, I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention."
You know that Frank Sinatra song, that is often played at funerals? But what if you are 40 and already have so many regrets? What do I do now? The only thing I don't regret really is my children, they mean to more to me than anything. But marriage, career, I wish I could do it all differently now. I know I'm not dead yet, I still have time, but I can't see things changing significantly in my life. I have health issues that would stop me from completely changing careers or studying. Financially I can't afford to leave my husband, plus I don't want to while the kids are still at home.
Maybe this is a mid-life crisis. I'm not suicidal or anything, I would never do that to my family. I just wish I could go back in time and do it better. Does anyone else feel like this? If you have nothing helpful to say, scroll on, I'm sick of all the judgement online these days!
Does anybody else regret their life?
Does anybody else regret their life?
Posted in:
Life Lessons
10 Replies
I wish I hadn’t had kids. I find being a parent really really hard work. I stopped at one and would throw myself in front of a train for my son. I wouldn’t have kids if given the chance again.
But I work hard at leading a positive life. I’m happy and have found mindfulness therapy and CBT very helpful in keeping me from doing the ‘If only’.
I think I kind of agree with you. I’d kill for my kids but if I knew what I know now I don’t think I’d have them.
Me either, I love my kids but if I had my time over I wouldn’t have any
Yeah sure, I wish i had met the love of my life and owned a home and had kids with a lovely family home and lots of support and money.
Before that I wish I had a huge career and gone really far, might not have had kids at all.
Theres really no point in looking back and thinking what if.
I think what it is though, is a good reminder that life passes in a blink. If you dont want to look back with regrets, you have to make the hard choices now and do what will make you proud and happy and fulfilled.
I think most people have felt like this at some point, I know I do!
I had my 3 kids very young, 2 of them born in my late teens, the 3rd just before I turned 21. I don't regret having my children at all but I do regret having them young because it was hard and I haven't been able to offer them the things other kids had, they'll never be afforded certain luxuries or the best education or other privileges, not a day goes by where I don't regret that.
I wish I'd had a little more life experience first and some days I selfishly resent the fact that the best years of my life were spent changing nappies and doing night feeds. Sometimes I miss just being care free!
It's OK to regret things, I think it becomes a problem when you dwell on it though, because dwelling on things that you can't change is wasted energy. You can change your future though, start doing things that make you happy, don't stay in an unhappy relationship for the kids sake (trust me, I speak as a kid who's parents stayed together for too long for our sakes. Separate parents are better than ones who clearly don't love each other). You can do anything you put your mind to, don't limit yourself by your health issues or your finances, these things can be worked around, I'm not saying it will be easy but things worth doing rarely are!
I was pregnant when I was a child myself and have missed out on a lot. I never had that crazy, wild party experience or had crazy sexual experiences. When people talk about their crazy pasts and how much fun they had I can never relate. I don't regret what I did do in life, only what I didn't do and now I feel it's too late.
I think as humans we always think of what the grass is like on the other side. I was (am) older - almost 40 and have just had my 2nd baby in 2yrs. I really wish I’d had my babies so much younger cause all I can think about how some of my friends are enjoying each other’s company and living life to the fullest where I’m stuck at home with shity nappies.
I’m a mum of 3 and a fifo wife . I love my kids to death but I hate my life . A self entitled husband and a shit load of debt . I can’t leave as he will fight me to keep my kids away if he couldn’t have me and I can’t live without them . I wish I wasn’t so nieve when I got married . I’ve never thought I was worth more and every time I try to have a better career I fail . And I don’t have the support around me to help with my children so I can give everything 110% 3 kids under 3 and I feel guilty to do anything for myself .
Every damn day, I’m stuck in a town I hate because it’s my husbands home town and he won’t leave meanwhile he gets to travel for work every few months all expenses paid,I love him but being stuck here is slowly killing everything good in me and I resent him for it. I had my kids too young and desperately wish I traveled, I never got a career in the industry I wanted to work in because not only is it male dominated but I’m tiny so I got laughed at when I applied for apprenticeships. So many regrets and forever feeling trapped but the only way I could change anything is to leave my husband behind 😞
Every damn day, I’m stuck in a town I hate because it’s my husbands home town and he won’t leave meanwhile he gets to travel for work every few months all expenses paid,I love him but being stuck here is slowly killing everything good in me and I resent him for it. I had my kids too young and desperately wish I traveled, I never got a career in the industry I wanted to work in because not only is it male dominated but I’m tiny so I got laughed at when I applied for apprenticeships. So many regrets and forever feeling trapped but the only way I could change anything is to leave my husband behind 😞