This has been a long time coming unfortunately (like 20 odd years) but i have officially cut contact with my mother... for years she has been toxic & i have finally told her i do not want her to contact me ever again... i haven't spoken to her in over a year since i split up with my ex & in that time she has weasled her way into his life to see my daughter on weekends... i have tolerated it so as not to inflict my issues onto my daughter & also as it is her only grandchild, but it has got to the point where i just dont want her in our lives... it is not healthy for a 9 year old to be asking the kinds of questions she asks me & I'm sick of glossing over it & pretending its all fine... so my question is how do i stop her seeing her while shes with her dad? Is that possible or do i have no control over what happens when shes with him? I was able to get it in the child agreement that she is not to be left alone with my mother or her husband whilst in her fathers care, but that was only via her fathers agreement... sorry for the ramble xo
Can you legally stop a grandparent from seeing their grandchild?
Can you legally stop a grandparent from seeing their grandchild?
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Mental Health, Self Care
6 Replies
What is it you are scared of happening? Abuse, brainwashing or exposure to things she shouldn't be exposed to? My ex MIL is very manipulative and narcissistic, she has turned 2 of my children away from me. She also has another grandchild living with her, for no reason at all other than "she wants to". So after experiencing all this I know how damaging a toxic grandparent can be. Could you talk to your ex about it? Remind him of things she has done in the past and that you're scared for your daughter to be exposed to her behaviour. Is your daughter asking you questions that you think might be on behalf of your Mum? Does your parenting agreement say that nobody is allowed to question the child about the other parent etc? Is your parenting agreement legal? You should amend it and make it legal, take him back to mediation if you have to. Take your child to see a psych to check for signs of being manipulated, this could help you later on if needed.
Ask for any babysitting your daughter needs while in his care must be offered to you first before anyone else. Apart from that I don't think you can do much except talk to the father and make him understand why it's so hurtful for your daughter t
I can understand the toxic mother part, but, has your daughter had a relationship with her for 8 years already? Has she ever done anything toxic involving your daughter or playing her off you? What questions is your child asking?
I guess you could call it child wellbeing, it comes down to the father if he's exposing her to that, might make him reconsider. But if it's nothing too bad then unfortunately I don't think you have a say and I would be appealing to him on a coparenting level, for example if the situation was reversed what would he want you to do. Also appeal to him on the long term plan - when he gets a girlfriend, moves on, is he still going to meet ex mil every weekend, otherwise he's just prolonging it and building her up for an even bigger heartbreak. If he wants to play family and let grandma manipulate him, he has to be willing to fulfil that relationship until she's grown up. He might not have thought that through.
I do find it odd that he agreed as it means he has to see his ex-mil every weekend. But if she isn't causing any issues it could be a good thing for you, let him deal with her!
All of the above, thanks ladies xo
Speak to your child’s father about your concerns but ultimately it’s his choice. Alternatively if something unsafe has happened you could apply for an AVO?
Unless your child is being or at risk of being harmed, there is not much more that you can do than ask your ex again to cut ties with her.
IF SHE IS AT RISK OF HARM OR BEING HARMED: please seek your local police, Dr, child services, etc. to protect your child immediately!