Hi IMs
I have a question about little miss 5yos behaviour.
Most of the time she’s a normal 5yo and very well behaved for her age (due to lifestyle a lot of adult interactions so has learnt a lot of boundaries by a younger age)
However of recently (last 12 months) there’s been a few behaviours that have been concerning. They’re not often but a few instansts
-at works property one day and when she thought no adults were looking walked up and kicked dog laying in sun
-at same property gone up and smacked cat that was just laying down
-rough play with partner walked out of room and came back and stabbed him with pencil in arm
-playing rough with barbies banging them against walls or bricks and when asked why she says they like to be smacked
All of them have been not in the moment situations and not attention seeking as either she’s got the attention or does it when she thinks no adults can see her. Just wondering when it becomes a point to bring it up with someone in health care? Or normal for 5yo to have random displays of aggression? We did have a big year with relationship changes moving house and life events would they be related?
*defiently no chance of ever being abused or assulted nor seen more than normal parent bickering*
Usually she is the child worrying and stressing over someone who is been hurt or looking after animals etc she’s very tom boy and rough in her play but never shown aggression till this instances.
4 Replies
If it's concerning you definitely chat to your health nurse or a doctor. However, to me it doesn't sound abnormal. She's curious and knows that these actions carry consequences, so when no one is looking she's experimenting.
I know as a kid I pinched my cousin so hard just for a reaction, because I knew no one was looking and he wasn't old enough to tell anyone. I did things like this quite often because I was curious as to what would actually happen.
Are these the only instances?
The Barbie one - pretty typical behavior.
The smacking/kicking animals and pencil stabbing ones - while it sounds a tad disturbing written out like this but sometimes kids are just compelled to do weird things, even the most mature and well behaved kids can do things like this, I remember yanking my nans cats tail and biting my baby brother's finger when I was 5, no idea why I did it and I wasn't even intentionally trying to hurt them, just had the compulsion to do it. Curiosity maybe, learning about cause and effect, who knows?
It's not OK to allow her to do it obviously but you've just got to use these moments to teach her right from wrong and why it's wrong (which I'm sure you're already doing).
Also, do you guys have pets? I'm thinking she may not know how to interact with animals? Of you do and she hasn't exhibited these behaviors towards your pet, I would just say it was a spur of the moment incident.
Of course mention it to your GP if you're concerned though, it may be linked to the stressful year. Kids do funny things when they're not coping, it's not even always obvious they aren't coping!
Best of luck!
They’re the concerning instants some other small ones but have been more of a response (dog barking at her she shoves it away etc)
Yes we have pets she’s always rough played with our dogs and cats but more treating them as dolls she just drags around than pets cute at 3 but hard habit we have to now break! She’s had dogs cats horses and fish.
Thanks will talk to doctor when we go next just wanted to see if it’s something somewhat normal (all I ever hear is kids that hurt animals will turn out psychopaths sort of thing- Mum and partner feel this is a big deal I thought if it was daily yes but it’s been 4-6 instances over 18 months)
Ah I see!
Pushing a barking dog away is a pretty normal response from small kids, I don't particularly like barking dogs in my personal space either.
I definitely don't think this is phycopathic behavior but rather a learned one. She's always been allowed to be rough with animals so she doesn't really grasp that it's not ok, if that makes sense. It sounds like she needs to re learn how to appropriately handle animal's, how to respect their personal space and that they're living creatures with feelings too (like pain, fear and discomfort) rather than toys or play things.
I think there needs to be a consistent consequence for inappropriate treatment of animals (and supervise her around all animals for the time being) and make sure she understands how being rough affects other people, for example "We don't poke people with pencils, it hurts! How do you think you would feel, do you think you'd feel sad or angry maybe?".
She is still only 5, with your guidance and teaching her she'll most likely grow out of it.