Hello,
Needing advice - my husband and I have two beautiful boys 9 and 3 yrs. We are happy, both work good jobs.
I desperately want another child. We’ve discussed it once or twice but I’ve been told no, it’s not what he wants. He’s happy with what we have and doesn’t understand why it isn’t enough for me. He has said he doesn’t have one main reason, just doesn’t want anymore children.
Communication of issues that cause tension isn’t great but I feel he grasps how important it is to me.
I completely understand that I can not make him have another child. I just don’t know how to get past this. I keep feeling like I’m missing out, as if the rest of my life isn’t going to be what I had in mind. It’s constantly on my mind.
Just wanting to know if anyone has found anything that helps??
Desperately wanting another.
Desperately wanting another.
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Kids
6 Replies
I have 3 and I still feel like that 😔 I’m not sure the feeling ever goes away.
The feeling goes away if you choose it. I know that sounds easier said than done.
I couldn't have more than my one, it was a grieving process. I could have gotten bitter and angry but chose not to be bitter and angry. I was sad for a period of time, there were tears and seeing other people have babies ached. Everytime I had a those feelings I reminded myself of the reasons having another wasn't a good idea. In your case having a very u happy, stressed, husband, strain on your marraige etc etc. I started reminding myself of the benefits of stopping where I was at. More time and finances for the children I do have, being able to have time to dedicate to some other activities I wanted to do.
I also found mindfulness therapy incredibly helpful.
Focus on what you have and building a future with the beautiful children you have been blessed with not on what you do not have.
Think of when your boys grow up. When they get married and have kids of their own. When you watch them go from little boys in school to men with jobs. You will be incredibly proud and blessed. I don't think you will look at your sons and think "Gee I regret my life because I didn't have more kids" you'll just be super proud of the kids you have now :)
I felt exactly like this. Going from 1 to 2. I needed to either “get over it” or my husband needed to agree. My husband relented and we now have a 2yr old and a 9wk old. I regret it. People say you only regret the children you don’t have not the children you. It’s untrue. I would never give her back but I do regret going from 1 to 2. I ruined everything we had.
I so badly wanted a third child and my husband wasn't to keen on the idea. We had one of each so he felt no need to go back and have another and go through the whole baby stage again.
He has said to me that it means more to me to have another than it does for him to not have anymore. So we compromised and I'm currently pregnant with our third 😂 due in a few weeks. Talk to him, find his reasoning as to why he doesn't want anymore, as hard as it is you may need to accept that he really doesn't want to have more kids and go talk to someone to help get you through the feeling.
This baby is our last baby and that's something I'm struggling to deal with but know for so many reasons that it's the right decision.
Good luck with whatever your outcome is, I know how hard it is going through all these emotions.