Really hating this time of year ATM. I'm at my wits ends and feeling so alone. It's Christmas time I should be with the ones I love. Instead I'm stuck in a town alone with basically no one except my kids. A town which I moved to for my partner (or ex partner who knows ATM) we done long distance for 2 years and decided for me to move near him so we can give it a real go of things except since I've been here he barely spends time with me or even speaks to me. He said if I go home it won't change things but I decided I was going home due to his lack of effort and basically being alone with no friends or social life besides him so told him I was going home and now he is not sure if he wants us to continue.we pretty much haven't seen or spoken to each other in three weeks. Says he now has to much on his plate (basically his ex) to even have time to think about us . I get his concern with his ex but where the Fk do I fit in. I'm expected to just sit around and wait for an answer. I'm literally broken I don't know what to do anymore. I love him but I don't know how long I can sit around and wait and more to the point should I sit around and wait. I'm fkn broken. For the first time in my life I sit here not wanting to get out of bed I'm so miserable and the thought of hoW easy it would be to just leave this fucked up world. I have a poor history with my last two relationships and said I'd never do this again until I met him and he changed my perspective completely. I guess should have known better.
Partner unsure of what he wants and feeling lost
Partner unsure of what he wants and feeling lost
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression
6 Replies
Why are you letting this guy dick you around? No guy is worth this. He only wants you when you aren't available! He isn't interested in the kind of relationship you are interested in.
Go make a life for you and your kids, where you want to be. You will be so much happier. These guys who dick you around like this just make you crazy and never truly happy.
They are never really available.
Oh sweetheart, go home!
Go be with your people, even if it's just over the Christmas break - clear your head and tackle it once you've recharged.
What's keeping you there? Are the children you have his? Is it love? If it is, you know what they say - plenty more fish in the sea. Your current fish seems to have his head strapped to his arse!
Don't settle for that!
I wish I could just go back for the break. I've already decided move home and have just given up my house for the new people to move in. I have to give up my ft job to go home and it breaks my heart as I love my job and haven't even told them yet because every time I try I almost break down. I want to go home my children are miserable here and due to my health I really need my loved ones around but I feel that leaviomeans the end our relationship. My partner is no support at all I feel like I have invested the last of what I had left in me to this relationship and received absolutely nothing in return. Some days even a hug was out the question when that all I needed the most.
I hope it spells the end of your relationship, you deserve better. When you are with someone who truly loves you, you will never wonder. Don’t ever move you and your kids to be with someone, they either move to you or you end it before it begins. Either get home or get your mojo back where you are, Christmas is about the kids, put your effort into making it magical for them. Deal with the other shit later, the important ones that love you unconditionally are there with you, give them an awesome day, it will take your mind off things too. Don’t let that arsehole ruin your kids Christmas, it doesn’t matter where you are, if you are miserable, the kids will be, if you are happy, they will be. Chin up, on and up. If you love your job and want to stay there, then stay there, but cut him loose, the uncertainty will be gone and after some time, you will feel much better.
I'm sorry to be blunt but I'm not sure I understand why you want to stay involved with him at any capacity. Is your relationship with him worth your sanity, your self esteem, you and your children's happiness?
I know you've invested a lot of time and effort but to keep at it expecting him to change is only going to leave you disappointed.
I hope you can find some peace hun, you seem really miserable. Relationships aren't meant to leave you feeling this way.
Time to get strong and realise that if being with him is this hard on everyone then the end of the relationship is what you need to do. I understand, it's so hard to do, but come on, this isn't happiness and it's not going to get better.
He's not hard to understand, he doesn't want to make time for you, the answer to that is walking, staying just to be in his face won't change that, it will only stretch out your misery.