Please don't post on Facebook.
So I'm hoping someone might be able to shed some light for me. I miss how my life used to be and it's really affecting me. Around 8 years ago I was paralysed from the waste down. They are unsure what the cause was but possibly linked to another auto immune disease. I had to learn to walk again twice. It happened on two seperate occasions. The first it took me around 6 months to learn to walk unaided. The second time was a little bit less time. One of the times I was driving when I felt it happening and somehow managed to stop my car. It was a slow thing where I felt it work its way up from my toes. Ever since though I've struggled with driving. If there isn't anywhere safe to pull over than I sort of panic almost. Or if I'm feeling tired or unwell I feel myself panic. To the point where sometimes I've had to pull over and call someone to come and get me and drive my car. It impacts my life so much as it limits where I can go. I avoid highways and stay where I know I have somewhere to pull over. I drive the long way extra 5-10 minutes to go to the shops to avoid a highway. I just don't know what to do anymore. I miss my freedom. I miss going where ever I want to go. I miss it all so much. I don't know why it's happening as it's only when I'm driving. I don't suffer in any other part of my life. I never drive if I know I feel almost panicked. I know when I need to stop and don't attempt to drive any further.
I just don't know why it's happening. Sometimes I can go months where I'm ok but other times I can't drive far at all. I find when my auto immune disease isn't fully under control I seem to panic more.
Has anyone ever experienced this? I don't really know what to do. I'm otherwise happy and have no dramas and didn't have any problems before I was paralysed. It's only ever since I was paralysed it's been an issue. I used to go on random drives and have so much fun until than. Nothing works though. I can stop and "get myself together" but than all of a sudden a bit further down I need to stop again. To the point where I go not worth risking it and I phone someone.
Can anyone suggest anything?
4 Replies
Sounds like a panic attack but I'm no expert, you should definitely get into see one as this is affecting your life so badly. Which I can understand what you've been through must have been terrifying.
It sounds like PTSD and anxiety. I’d get a referral to a psychiatrist and get on top of the PTSD. They’ll help you to find ways to overcome your fear and work out strategic ways to feel less anxious
It sounds like you're afraid of it happening again. Maybe some therapy to work through the fears? It would be scary to feel like you're not in control of your body - I know I'd be a wreck if I thought my ability to walk or drive could just go at a moment's notice. I don't know what AI condition you're dealing with but make sure you're as on top of it as you can be (I know that's not completely within your control).
Good luck xx
Kelly here from The Imperfect Mum team. Not putting to facebook, at your request.
Oh my goodness! What a full on traumatic experience(s)!! How unusual and so unfortunate you have to go through this. I'm so sorry...
I would recommend a counsellor. The mind is such a powerful thing and I think you need a (good) professional to unpack this and help you heal and recover. Not saying this is whats causing it - but I hope they can help you have someone to talk to and get you back on the road of confidence and strength again.
Big hugs. Heart breaking for you! x