I recently had my 2nd child and my parttner had 5 weeks off to help me with the newborn and our 2yr old. The entire time i was at home alone with the 2 girls. I have PTSD, PND and anxiety and he wad having the time off to help me cope and estsblish a routine. Instead he spent the entire tikme at his dads farm leaving me alone. I just feel really alone and isolated, ive seen my parents 5times since bub was born (shes 5wks) and 2 of those are because they came to me (they live an hour away) yet everyday im expected to go to his parents place. Hell the day we got back from the hospital they came over. They never offer to help me with anything they wont watch the kids for me. i thought i wouldnt have to do it alone, i thought we would share night feeds, housework etc.
Its so stupid but i feel so alone
Struggling mumma
Struggling mumma
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Baby & Toddler
7 Replies
Youre alone because you're around people that don't care for you. That's actually worse than being alone. It's hard to imagine, but you'll be better off really alone, you won't have all this shit to deal with, it's not as hard, that's the truth. Go to your parents.
Demand help, nag, do what you have to. Do not, i repeat do not settle for this! The longer you let him get away with it, the harder it will be for him to change.
I always get told how wonderful and hands on my husband is. He is that way because I expect him to be that way. Sure if I never said anything and just let him do his own thing and I did everything, he would be a lazy sod like your partner. It's a partnership ship. You don't have kids to raise them yourself.
I also don't think it's the grandparents job to help. They are your kids so that workload falls on yours and partners shoulders. Sure it's wonderful if you have grandparents who want to help, but it shouldn't be expected. However it should absolutely 100% be expected from your partner.
My parents help all the time. My mum comes to visit and will just start folding clothes or do the dishes . I dont expect anyrhing from my inlaws but an offer would be nice.
I’d be heading back to my parents permanently
You have to stand up & voice your concern in a calm way
He is a bloke & they don't really think
With you having PTSD and pnd
You are already at risk of things going down hill
Don't leave it until it's too late
Is this the mama that posted before saying her husband was already telling her his paternity leave is his holiday, didnt do a thing to help her. He was a real piece of work that one... sounds like this ones the same.
No my partner promised to help me