50/50 care.
How do we go about getting 50/50 care when there is a Minor distant between homes, with child being in school? We can't really move to the same suburb due to husband in the army, as he has to stay close to work. The closest we can move is 20 - 25 minutes closer, making distance between homes easier for child going to school.
*dha housing, they need reasons as to why we need to move and this actually wouldn't be considered good enough as we have tried already. Family is important to an extent in the defence force. So to up and move wouldn't be easy, but we can make it happen with a few other tricks.
*we also have 3 children in our care with 2 in school.
Edit* the child is in primary school, we would always be picking up and dropping child off and that is not a problem. More visits is not an option to us, hence wanting 50/50.
We already get fornights and special occasions with child. We just want more access to her. She has expressed she'd like that and we have always wanted it just as much. It would benefit both her and our family.
Yes we know how it would be for child inbetween homes, but we are prepared to make it work. This is 100% in the best interest for the child. If it were to be a burden on the child in the slightest we would not consider this at all. There isn't a lot of stability where she is living, with 13 people in a 4 bedroom house. Kids and adults of all ages, not to mention more people every weekend. This is proven information. We have a 4 bedroom house, 7seater car. My partner and I with our 3 kids live in this house. We just think it'd be more stable for child to be with us, rather than a house where she is sleeping on the floor on a mattress with 5 other people in a room.
Parents who do 50/50 how do you do yours? Advice towards share custody or stories would be great please and thank you.
11 Replies
Why do you want 50/50 if it makes it harder on the child?
A 50 minute drive is not practical ror the childso yes you would have to move close to her school if you want to be 50/50. Alternatively you could be more involved, ask for friday pickup from school until monday drop off at school, or go and do pickup and spend time togetherthere on weekday nights, dinner and homework or take her to her sports or clubs etc
You'd have to consider whether it would be in the child's best insterest.
What are the current care arrangements?
How is the child going with the current arrangements?
Would changing to 50/50 be beneficial on the child?
How far would the child have to travel to and from school each day?
A 50 minute trip to school twice a day is almost 2 hours of travel a day. Its a lot for a kid, especially when there is homework to do after school etc.
I asked for advice on where to start, the arrangement we have with other parent just isn't working. We want 50/50 care for our children. A 50 minute drive for a child has no affect on the child but the driver, hence said we would move closer. Visits at where the child stays is not an option in any way shape or form. If anything this becomes more work for us which we are wanting to do. Please answer post, we already spend time together. We want 50/50 and want advice on how to do it properly. Please and thank you, that's all nothing else.
Actually a 50 minute trip to school does effect a child. My child had to do it when we moved and he needed to finish the year at the school he was at. He was exhausted from the earlier mornings and getting home later and trying to cram homework in before tea and bed time. He also couldn't sign up for after school sports because he wasn't home in time.
You'd have to go through mediation first, both parents would have to agree to 50/50, if an agreement can't be made through mediation, you would go to family court.
But just be wary it might not be as easy as you think. Get advice from a solicitor. You may find they will say its not practical because of the distance from school.
A 50 minute drive will effect ALL your children. Not to mention if the child in question wants to organise play dates or participate in after school activities at her current schools.
And unless both adults are available to do drop offs and pickups after school at least one of the kids is going to end up in after school care/before school care.
Honestly it doesn't sound in the best initerests of the child. How would you even begin to coordinate school drop offs and pick ups.
If you really want 50/50 and it's in the best interest of the children then you need to start the mediation process. I wouldn't ask for 50/50 straight off the bat, if ask for an increase in time to start with. Eg if you have every second weekend ask for that to begin Thursday night to Monday morning.
Ask for more time and negotiate
I've just edited it with more info to give an idea of why we want to do this. We currently live 50 mins apart. But if we were to go ahead we would move closer making the distance between homes 20-25 mins. We do take child to sport every weekend due to other parents not being able to drop child off, so that's time out of ours to pick up child from home and take to sports which is only 25 mins away from our home. So that makes travel 75 mins, where if she was with us it'd only be 25 mins.
So there's no practical reason 50/50 couldnt work, it would just be a matter of agreeing to it if this huge lifestyle change also offers enough benefits for it to be in the best interest of the child, and then increasing visits, ironing out transfers and communication between parents and changeovers, and transitioning into it. Good luck.
I'm not a fan of 50/50 but it sounds like you guys should reverse the roles for her having week days at yours! Good luck!