Do you get your children to pick up their toys after playing with them or do you save yourself the battle and just do it yourself?
I have two boys aged 5 and 8 and they are so difficult to get to pick up their toys. They will tip lego and duplo all over the floor (they have a lot) happily spread it out, but when it comes to pack up time they refuse to do it.
I mean major back chatting, crying, playing, mucking around and simply refusing to do it.
If I offer to help they end up just sitting and watching me do it all.
So I wonder, does anyone else make their kids pack up their own toys? If so, how do you get them to do it?
10 Replies
Since 2 years old they pack it up. When they were younger I would say if they tantrum and I have to do it alone I'll throw it away. Of course I give chances and time, and they eventually do it with me, that's the goal, they don't get out of it.
Having said that, kids tantrum if it looks too hard, they give up and cry about it, or if they've learned they'll get out of it. It can seem impossible, especially if they've tipped out heaps, but you can give them help and direct instructions so they know it's not impossible, they can and will do it and to ask you for help.
Next time, before they get it out, make the agreement that they can get it out if they pack it away again before dinner/bed etc. then tell them when it's time and go in and scaffold it, make it fun and help them. and if they don't participate at all, put it away and say no next time because they don't pack it up.
Also, why won't they pack it up? Are they still making, do they want to keep what they've made? I'm always open to listening, make a keep shelf, maybe it can carry over to the next day but if the space needs to be tidied they would need specific instructions, but the end goal is consistent, they got it out, they tidy it up.
They always keep the special things they made out and we put them on their shelf.
They don't want to pick toys up because its boring and according to my 8 year old they will "just get it back out again so whats the point".
They can leave lego out all weekend but by sunday arvo it really needs picking up or it ends up spread through the whole house.
Well if they can just leave it to you and nothing happens then I agree with him why bother lol
If he loses it, he'll find his motivation.
Yes my kid has at least helped pack up his toys since he was one.
Ignore the back chatting. I’d also take the majority of duplo away for a short time. Tell them they need to put 5 blocks each away. Hand over hand prompt them if necessary. School age children are more than capable of this task, I can guarantee they are expected to manage much more at school.
As they get better at packing away and you can increase the number of blocks they put away then you can start to give some of there duplo back. They are more than old enough to understand this concept.
My girls are full blown slobs lol, I'm at the point now that if they want their room to be a pig sty they have to live with the consequences (mainly never being able to find anything, like shoes grr or things getting stepped on and broken). Toys aren't allowed in any other area of our house though.
I have 3 and 1 yo so it’s probably completely different but I put duplo and any other type of toys (blocks, learning cards, stacking things) up in sorted containers in the cupboard and if they want to get something down, they need to pack up their room (toy box) and lounge room and put everything away so they have clear space to play with something from the cupboard. It’s also routine to pack up and pick up every morning after they get dressed, I often need to help, and make a race or use something as a bribery (we can go out outside afterwards or get something from the cupboard, or sit down and enjoy food/Lolly togethe which helps a lot) I don’t let them get away with not packing up though, if I start and they don’t help, I’ll stop and just say that’s fine, but we won’t go outside/do such and such until you start helping me..
Mine learned when I started throwing toys in the bin, regardless of cost I was not making a rod for my own back having to pick up everything his fingers touched. I didn't have to throw out much but he sure worked out, "ok time to pack up" literally meant to pick up then and there or I would.
As a kid who has everything cleaned up and picked up for them- your setting them up to fail as an adult! I am a clean person but i struggle with the simple concepts of picking up after myself and putting things back where they belong. Im a messy person and struggle with it daily! Dont do this to your kids teach them this life skill now!
I totally agree with this, when we were kids we'd make a pigsty of a mess, go off to school and someone had magically cleaned it all up by the time we got home. Awesome!
Until we moved out and there was no one at home to clean up our filth and on top of that we didn't know how to clean up our filth!
It sounds like your boys need a toy cull too, the more stuff they have - the more mess they make and inevitably the more overwhelmed they get when it comes time to pack up! Encourage one activity at a time, then packing it up before moving on to something else and a bit of tough love too (I'd be confiscating the Lego until they earn it back for starters).
Good luck!
We need to teach our darlings how to clean up after themselves as early as possible
Even if its just a small amount of packing up things
I made sure my 2 boys knew what ever mess they made they had to clean up
Raising children is about learning